Ted: Stupid smart carts. More like dumb carts.

Lily: "It is important to load up on carbohydrates two to four hours before a big run. Try a breakfast of a bagel, a banana, oatmeal, strawberries and some orange juice." Here you go, Marshmallow. Just like the book said.
Marshall: Yeah, but from now on, I'm eating all of my breakfast runner-style. Liquids are digested faster. That way, no energy is wasted, and it's all about the run. [downs shake, kisses Lily]
[Marshall jogs out of the kitchen, heads for the bathroom and barfs]

Lily: "Don't forget to give yourself plenty of positive reinforcement."
Marshall: This is gonna be your best run yet. You're going to accomplish all of your goals. You are a robot sent from the future to win the marathon! You are... Marshall. You are... Marshall. You are Marshall! Yeah!

Lily: "Chafing or blisters can occur in a number of areas, including the feet, armpits, or even the nipples. Try using some petroleum jelly on the affected areas."
Marshall comes into the apartment scratching himself and goes to the bathroom.
[Marshall runs into the bathroom. He takes his shoes and socks off and applies Vaseline to his feet. Then he takes his shirt off and applies Vaseline to his nipples. He stands up in and faces the mirror as he keeps massaging his nipples.]
Marshall: Oh, gosh! Dude, you are a terrific runner. Tomorrow you're gonna run and finish the New York City Marathon! You're the best. You look good. Nobody does it better than you.
[Robin comes into the bathroom behind Marshall]
Robin: Marshall? Oh, my God!
[Marshall recoils in fear and falls to the floor]

Ted: So, yes, it was your fault. I mean, if you don't show up at the apartment in the middle of the day, Marshall doesn't break his toe, Barney doesn't run in his place, I don't jump the turnstile and get a court date, and we make our flight in plenty of time! [Ted falls] And I don't fall down and bite my tongue at the airport.

Robin: That really wasn't my fault. I wouldn't have walked in on Marshall if it weren't for Lily. Hey, think about it.
[flashback to Ted and Robin eating as the walk down the street:]
Robin: Hey, what's going on here?
Ted: Oh, looks like they're camping out for something.
Robin: Yeah, but for what?
Ted: I don't know. Usually there's a Stormtrooper or Klingon in line to give you some indication. "Annual wedding dress blowout. Designer sample dresses up to 90% off. Doors open tomorrow, 8:00 a.m."
Robin: Oh, my God. Can you believe what some nut bags will do to save a few bucks?
[cut to the gang at MacLaren's:]
Lily: We have to camp out.

Robin: This is the place.
Lily: Oh, wow. Badgley Mischka! Melissa Sweet! Vera Wang! Oh, Robin, do you have any idea what you guys stumbled onto here?
Robin: [chuckling] You said wang.

Lily: Oh, this reminds me of the ticket line to Lilith Fair, 1998. Only fewer mullets.
Robin: You should feel good. You're only, like, the tenth craziest bride in New York.

Future Ted: [v.o.] The next morning, Robin was too tired to go all the way back to Brooklyn, so while I was at work, she went to crash at my apartment for a couple hours, and that's when...
Marshall: Nobody does it better than you.
Robin: Marshall?! Oh, my God!
[Marshall falls]

Robin: So if Lily hadn't dragged me down to the wedding dress store, we would have made the first flight.
Ted: Oh, thank God. The doors are still open. We made it. Hi. Please. We really need to get on this flight.
Fred: Oh, my God! You're that reporter from Metro News 1.
Robin: Yes, yes, I am. I can't believe you recognized me.
Fred: You did that story on the giant pizzas?
Ted: Would you check to see if you have any more seats?
Fred: One moment, sir. Were those pizzas real? Come on, were they?
Ted: Robin...
Robin: One second, Ted. Um, you know, a lot of people ask me that. The truth is, the pizzas were real. Calzones, trick photography.
Fred: I knew it!
Robin: God, it is so nice to meet a fan! And I would be a fan of your work if you could get us two seats on that next flight.