‘Lobster Crawl’
Season 8, Episode 9 - Aired December 3, 2012
After shooting him down, Robin attempts to get Barney interested in her again. Meanwhile, Marshall and Lily are upset when Ted babysits Marvin and witnesses a number of baby firsts.
Quote from Ted
Ted: Augie. Jayden. Dylan. Girl Dylan.
Lily: Hey, Ted.
Ted: Hey. Where's Marvin? Does Coach Amber have him warming up in the Jacooz? Sorry again.
Quote from Ted
Marshall: Aw, hey, buddy, listen, we wanted to talk to you about how you've kind of been overdoing it with Marvin.
Ted: I haven't been overdoing it.
Lily: Ted, we're in a baby swim class, and clearly you'vedone something extreme to get the naming rights
to that lollipop bin.
Quote from Lily
Robin: I can't believe Barney went home with Brandi. I should have asked you to do that play with me.
Lily: Well, it's too late now, isn't it? There he is. Straddle me. Start grinding. Nothing's off-limits.
Quote from Barney
Barney: So, last night Brandi and I got to the WWN studios, and my high-pressure system was ready to slam into her warm front.
[flashback to Barney and Brandi at the news studio:]
Brandi: The studio's unlocked, the weather map's up. Ready to do it in 17 different states at once?
Barney: Um, actually, I don't think I want that. I'm sorry. I'm-I'm... I'm gonna go.
[present:]
Robin: Wait, you didn't sleep with her?
Barney: Nope. I spent the night thinking about how everything I've done since Quinn and I broke up has been a cry for help. Dressing a dog up like me, hooking up with all those nannies...
Robin: Brobibs?
Barney: No, those are solid.
Lily: I still want in.
Barney: And I realized that I'm searching. Searching for what I really want in life, and you know what? I have absolutely no idea what that is.
Robin: Wow. Barney...
Barney: But, I'm going to figure it out. I have to. Good night, guys.
Quote from Barney
[flashback to Barney and Brandi at the news studio the night before:]
Brandi: Let me go see if the studio's open.
Barney: All right.
Patrice: Oh, hi, Barney. I'm working late. What are you doing here?
Barney: I'm... I don't know what I'm doing... here.
Patrice: Barney, I don't know you that well, but... are you okay?
Barney: Yeah. What do you mean?
Patrice: Well, whenever I see someone unhappy, I get the urge to give them cookies, and I really want to give you cookies right now. Cookie?
Barney: Lame. No, thanks.
Patrice: You sure? They're heart-shaped. Sorry, a couple of them are broken.
Barney: I know how they feel. I'd love one.
[present:]
Barney: After that, I sent Brandi packing, and Patrice and I talked all night. We're... kind of on a date right now. But if you'd like to throw on some clothes and join us for Crazy Eights...
Patrice: I can deal you in! My deck has puppies on it! Arf-arf!
Robin: Um... I gotta go.