Lily: Sorry if I'm bad company. I'm not sure anything is gonna take my mind off of missing Marvin's first crawl.
Robin: Lily, I've had a revelation.
Lily: Brobibs for women. Bitchbibs! You know Barney's gonna sue us, but damn it, let's just go for it.

Robin: No, Lily, this is serious. When that doctor told me I couldn't eat lobster and I did it anyway, it almost killed me. But here's the thing: I never wanted lobster again. So the solution is obvious. The only way to get Barney out of my system is to get him into my system, one last time. It's brilliant, right?
Lily: Not brilliant at all.
Robin: Thanks for being on board.
Lily: Not on board.
Robin: It means a lot.
Lily: Big mistake.

[title card: "The Is That Angelina Jolie?":]
Robin: Hey, there.
Barney: Hey! It is so good to see you. [using Robin as a human shield] Thanks, Robin. This game affects my
league score.

[title card: "The Ask for Lily's Help":]
Lily: Look, I don't agree with your lobster quest, but I can't stand watching you make a fool of yourself. You want the fix? I got the fix. Back in college...
[flashback to a college party in 1996:]
Lily: [v.o.] It was love at first sight for me and Marshall, but when it came to making the first move, well, he needed help. So I took matters into my own hands.
[Lily dances with a woman]
Marshall: Let's get out of here.
[present:]
Lily: You just need a girl who, I don't know, gets a few drinks in her and wants to have fun and put on a show.
Robin: Mm-hmm.
Lily: And it drives guys crazy, 'cause you both don't even care. It's just stupid and fun.
Robin: Lily, that sounds perfect. Thank you. [hugs Lily]
Lily: Mm. Just stupid. Stupid and fun.

[title card: "The Robin and Lily Get Freaky":]
Lily: Who the hell is that?
Robin: Hey, guys. Barney, this is Brandi, my fun friend from work, who just doesn't even care.
Lily: Hello, Brandi. Congratulations on the gig.
Brandi: Aw, thank you! World Wide News is an amazing place to work.
Lily: Not that gig, sweetheart.
[As Robin and Brandi dance, Marshall gets up close to watch]
Lily: Marshall!

Robin: It's late. I'm so tipsy.
Barney: It is late. We should get out of here. So, Brandi, ever sneak into the studio and do it in front of the weather map?
Brandi: No. Why do you ask?
Barney: No reason. [to the gang] Someone is about to get unseasonably banged.

Marshall: Hey, Lilypad! So, don't be upset. Ted took Marvin shopping and sort of bought him... all his winter clothes.
Lily: [wails]
Ted: [o.s.] Get ready for our star runway model, or should I say, our star crawlway model. He's doing it again, guys! Get in here! N-No-no, it's over.

Ted: Starting at quarterback, the pride of Cleveland... Marvin Eriksen! Right? Right, guys? He's gonna be a little Browns fan. Oh, by the way, I cancelled that meeting with the headhunter, so I can take care of Marvin next week.
Lily: What? No, no, my dad'll be better by then.
Ted: Oh, I gave Mickey the month off. It's supposed to snow, and, uh, Uncle Ted doesn't want to miss Marvin's first sleigh ride.
Marshall & Lily: You're fired.

Ted: Marvin has a bib with little- little dinosaurs on it. Maybe you should make one like that.
Barney: Brobibs are for grown men wearing bibs, Ted. I don't want them looking like idiots.

Ted: [answers phone] Lily, Marshall, you know you can't keep him away from me. He's gonna start asking questions.
Marshall: Calm down, Ted. We- We just wanted to apologize. We overreacted before.
Lily: Meet us at the swim class you apparently signed Marvin up for.
Ted: Bubble Buddies? I'd love t... I mean, I'll have to check my skedge. Sorry. When I'm excited, I abbreviate words I shouldn't.
Lily: Come on, Ted, what do you say?
Ted: Fab. Perf. Sorry. See you at B-Buds. Bubble Buddies. Sorry.