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39Quotes from ‘The Over-Correction’

How I Met Your Mother: The Over-Correction

810. The Over-Correction

Aired December 10, 2012

Robin is suspicious of Barney's relationship with Patrice and draws up an audacious plan to split them up: steal "The Playbook". Meanwhile, Marshall's mother decides to get back in the dating world.

Quote from Robin

Robin: She can't see that Barney is using her, and it breaks my heart. You know, I love Patrice. We're like sisters.
Ted: You've never gotten through even one exchange without screaming at her.
Robin: Sisters fight, Ted! But the bond is always there.

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Quote from Robin

Ted: And where's the worst abuser of my generosity, Barney? Or should I say, "Borrow-ney"?
Marshall: You should never say that. And I think he's out with Patrice.
Robin: Ugh, Patrice? That's still happening?
Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, you remember Patrice. She worked with your Aunt Robin.
[flashback:]
Patrice: Robin! You left your purse at the vending machine, and some guy tried to steal it! I fought him off, but I think I dislocated my shoulder.
Robin: You scratched the leather! Oh! Can't you do anything right, Patrice?!

Quote from Robin

Robin: Barney is not who you think he is.
Patrice: What do you mean?
Robin: Well, he has a book of plays he uses to trick women into sleeping with him.
Patrice: Oh, no way, Barney's my honey bear.
Robin: Actually, one of his plays is called The Honey Bear. He dresses up like Winnie the Pooh, and the next thing you know, his hand's stuck in your pot.
Patrice: Robin, you're a doll for worrying about me, but that doesn't sound at all like my Barney.
Robin: Why won't you let me help you, Patrice?!

Quote from Ted

Marshall: Why can't we borrow your air mattress?
Ted: Because when you animals borrow things, you never return them.
Lily: That's ridiculous.
Ted: No, my Cleveland, Ohio, Chamber of Commerce mini-cooler is ridiculous. Ridiculous at keeping stuff cold while also promoting Ohio's second-largest rubber producer. Watch your back, Akron.
Lily: I totally gave that back.
Ted: And what about that "Vote For Ted" hoodie from when I ran for treasurer in high school? Mrs. Gooding said my concession speech was, "full of grace."
Marshall: I don't recall borrowing that.

Quote from Ted

Ted: And whatever happened to my limited edition DVD of the classic 1989 Silverman-McCarthy romp,
Weekend at Bernie's, "borrowed" well over six months ago?
Robin: Yeah, I'm keeping that. Those extra features are awesome. I mean, that making-of documentary?
Ted: "How Bernie Avoided The Gurney: A Cinematic Journey."

Quote from Ted

Robin: But seriously, what other reason would Barney have to date Patrice?
Ted: It's an over-correction.
Robin: How dare you?! What is that?!
Ted: Barney was engaged to Quinn, a stripper he never really trusted. So he overcorrects by dating her opposite: warm and nurturing Patrice.
Lily: That does happen, like Ted. After you broke up with sweet innocent Victoria.
[flashback to Ted talking through the glass to a prison inmate:]
Ted: No, you hang up first.
Woman: No, you hang up first.
Ted: No, you hang up first.
Woman: Hang up, you little bitch!
[present:]
Lily: Over-correction.
Ted: Yeah.

Quote from Marshall

Ted: And it's not just relationships. Remember when that comedy club owner told Marshall that his "funny fish names" stand-up act didn't have enough edge?
[flashback to a leather vest-wearing, cigarette-smoking Marshall at a comedy club:]
Marshall: Flounder? I barely know her! Oh!
[present:]
Ted: Over-correction. Although it was better than his Chris Rock rip-off.
[flashback to a fast-paced Marshall, wearing a leather jacket, at a comedy club:]
Marshall: A trout with a daughter has one job. One job! To keep her off the fishing pole!
Lily: [o.s.] You suck!
Marshall: Lily!

Quote from Mickey

Lily: But my dad is here nannying all the time. Then add your mom in? This place is crowded enough already.
[flashback to Mickey knocking on the nursery door:]
Mickey: Hey, Lil, let me know how the pump's working. I cleaned it for you.
Lily: It's fine, Dad.
Mickey: Yeah, I had to check the suction, so I tested it on myself.
Lily: Oh, no.
Mickey: Don't worry, the suction's fine, actually kind of nice.

Quote from Lily

Judy: Lily, can I ask you a question?
Lily: If it's "Did somebody put gravel in the couch cushions you're sleeping on," absolutely not. What would be the motive?
Judy: No, it's not that. Uh, don't tell Marshall because he's not ready, but I think I might want to get back out there and meet a nice man.
Lily: Wow, that's great, Judy.
Judy: And I thought you might be able to help because you always look so good.
Lily: You think I look good?
Judy: I mean, you dress like a Duluth streetwalker, but my son seems to like it.
Lily: I'll take it.

Quote from Lily

Judy: So, any advice?
Lily: Well, first I'd throw out any giant sweater with a horse on it.
Judy: Even the ones...?
Lily: Even the ones that have manes with real horse hair, yes. And second, I'd let the gals out to play a little more.
Judy: The gals? [Lily unbuttons Judy's top] Oh... you mean the Minnesota Twins.

Quote from Mickey

Marshall: Why would you do that... with Mickey?
Ju:I've been lonely, Marshall, and all the men in St. Cloud's idea of romance is taking me ice fishing. That was me and your father's thing. Plus, call it an overcorrection, but it's kind of nice being with a sophisticated, big-city man.
Mickey: [belches] You know, I don't know what the big deal is. You've been bumping uglies with my daughter for years. The second I climb up on your mom, it's the end of the world?

Quote from Ted

Robin: [on the phone] How's my favorite architect? Other than well-endowed.
Ted: Mom?
Robin: No, it's Robin again. Look, you've got to come back in and get my purse.
Ted: Nope, I'm done. Bye, Robin.
Robin: Wait! What if I told you I was looking at your red cowboy boots right now?
Ted: Describe them.
Robin: They're red and they're cowboy boots.
Ted: That's them!

Quote from Mickey

Marshall: No! I'm never coming out!
Mickey: You know, Marshall, you've been in there for a while now. And I couldn't help but notice you chugged that Super Big Gulp.
Marshall: It's not gonna work, Mickey. My bladder's as big as your betrayal!
Mickey: I see. So it's not gonna bother you to think about leaky faucets or open hydrants, or rushing rivers, or... Oh, God, I got to pee.

Quote from Barney

Barney: Yes, it is. These are all the tricks I used to get women to sleep with me.
Patrice: What do you mean, tricks?
Barney: Like... "The Two Can Play at That Game."
[title card: "The Two Can Play at That Game":]
Woman: Can I help you?
Barney: I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, but... My wife is having an affair with your husband. I even found a list of every dirty way they've enjoyed each others' bodies. I wish there was some way we could get back at them.
Woman: There is. We can kill them. [laughs]
[Barney goes across the hall and knocks on another apartment:]
Barney: I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this...

Quote from Mickey

Marshall: So, we, um... we just wanted to say that we're sorry for the way that we acted when we found out about you two.
Lily: Your happiness is what is most important, so, if you two want to date, it's okay by us.
Mickey: Who said anything about dating?
Judy: This is just about sex.
Mickey: We're family... with benefits.
[later, Lily and Marshall hold each other as they gip in the closet]


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