[flashback to Marshall arriving at the apartment as Ted stacks books on a shelf:]
Marshall: Hey. What's that?
Ted: A 1986 World Book encyclopaedia. [en-sahy-kluh-pay-dee-uh] It's exactly the one I grew up with.
Marshall: Encyclopaedia?
Ted: Oh, you think it should be pronounced encyclo-pee-dia. It's a common mistake. But if you look at that squished together "ae" symbol in this here encyclopaedia, you'll learn that it's a ligature derived from the Anglo-Saxon rune...
[The bookshelves collapse, ripping off a portion of plasterboard and exposing the building's red brick walls]
Marshall: You know, you're gonna have to paedia for that.

Future Ted: [v.o.] After that, Interventions became a pretty regular thing around our apartment.
[Lily arrives home]
Lily: [in an English accent] Cor blimey. This is a nice bloody surprise. What's this about then?
Ted: Lily, it's about the weird fake English accent.
Lily: Bollocks.

[Barney enters MacLaren's dressed like an elderly man, complete with prosthetic make-up]
Barney: You there, what's your name?
Cindy: Excuse me?
Barney: Your name, woman, what's your name?!
Cindy: Cindy.
Barney: I knew it. You're the Cindy, the one who can change everything, or spell our inevitable doom. Now listen to me, Cindy. I am Barney Stinson, and I am on an urgent mission from the future.
Cindy: The future?
Barney: The future, and I can prove it to you. In exactly four seconds, the woman at that booth is going to slap that man. [Barney clears throat]
[Robin slaps Ted]
Ted: Ow! What the hell?
Barney: In a few minutes, the young me from your time is going to come through that door. Now, Cindy, I know this sounds insane, but in order to save the planet, You need to sleep with him tonight.
Cindy: What?
Barney: Sleep with Barney Stinson tonight, in whatever way he wants it, or he won't be able to find the solution to global warming that saves the human race.
Cindy: What are you talking about?
Barney: I have no time to explain. I have to get back to the reality accelerator before the vortex closes. Only you can save us, Cindy. I must away!

[Barney enters MacLaren's in his normal attire:]
Barney: Vodka rocks.
Robin: It's not gonna work.
Cindy: Oh, my God! You're... Oh, my God! Can I buy you a drink?
Barney: I suppose I have time for one drink and... 45 minutes to an hour of some other activity, but after that,
I have to get back to a top-secret research project I'm working on.
Cindy: Global warming?
Barney: My God, how did you know that?

Marshall: And you're also responsible for any damage Robin did when she was your girlfriend.
Robin: Whoa. What damage did I cause?
Marshall: Do you remember that night when you drank the 12'er of Molson and you got all super Canadian?
[Marshall removes a picture frame from the wall, revealing a hole in the plasterboard]
[flashback to Robin, wearing full hockey attire, playing in the apartment:]
Robin: Stanley cup, game six A. The Rangers are about [aboot] to be sorry [surry] they ever played shinny
with the Canucks.
Marshall: Hey, hey, Robin.
Robin: Yeah?
Marshall: I'll give you 20 bucks if you can shoot it through this front door.
Robin: You're nuttier than a Tim Horton's maple log. Timmy ho!
[Lily catches the puck]

[Barney is at MacLaren's dressed as an old man, in full prosthetic make-up:]
Barney: Why, hello, young lady. You want a butterscotch candy?
[later]
Barney: What do you mean, "nothing in common"? We're both seniors.
[later]
Woman: You're cute. How old are you?
Barney: 83. How old are you?
Woman: 31.
Barney: Oh. [gets up and leaves]

Lily: Marshall, this is an intervention.
Barney: It's about the hat.
Marshall: [scoffs] What? No. I have it under control, okay? I can take it off whenever I want to.
Robin: "Dear Marshall, I do not like that stupid hat. I want to beat it with a bat. Or maybe stab it with a fork. It makes you look like such a dork."

[Barney arrives in the apartment dressed as an old man:]
Barney: What the...?
Robin: Barney, this is an intervention.
Barney: I'm sorry, I can't hear you.
Marshall: All right, enough with the "old man" bit.
Barney: What about the old sand pit?
Lily: Let it go.
Barney: "Let it snow"? I love that old ditty!
Ted: I'm getting my flail.
Barney: You're setting sail?

Marshall: Everybody says change is so great, right? But what's so great about change?
Ted: Hey, who wants to walk down to our same old bar, sit in our regular booth and order the usual?!
Lily: Yeah!
Marshall: The usual! My favorite!
[later, the gang arrive at MacLaren's and see "old Barney" making out with a young woman:]
Ted: Oh, my God.
Lily: Ugh.
Barney: Well, well, well. I believe someone owes me $200.
Marshall: Barney, this was never a bet... Nobody...
Barney: This proves that I will be this awesome when I'm 80. Arthritis five.

Ted: I mean, everything is changing. I'm gonna be living in New Jersey with Stella, you guys will be in your new place. You're starting a new job in Tokyo. It's the end of an era. I think we should have a toast, but not our usual crap. Hey, Wendy, your most expensive bottle of scotch.
Wendy: That's 50-year-old Glen McKenna, and it's $2,500.
Ted: Excellent. A bottle of that with beer chasers, and what do you think, cancel the scotch?