Robin: Marshall, you can't do this to Lily. Yes, I know your new place has had some problems, with the slanted floors and the nearby sewage treatment plant, but you're gonna turn it into a great home. Tell him, Lily.
Lily: It's a black hole where dreams go to die. I'm not moving, either.

Robin: Oh, my god, look at you cowards! So afraid of any kind of change. So terrified of anything new. So desperate to cling to anything comfortable and familiar. I can't move to Japan. What was I thinking? It's so far away. And I don't speak the language. I didn't even have any good pictures of you guys.
Lily: Oh, sweetie.

Ted: I'm moving to New Jersey.
Lily: What?
Ted: And you and Marshall should move to your new place, and Robin should go to Japan.
Robin: Why?
Ted: Because we're gonna get older whether we like it or not, So the only question is whether we want to get on with our lives or desperately cling to the past and end up like that. [points to old Barney]

Barney: You mean awesome? I'm 80, dude, and I'm making out with a 22-year-old.
Woman: Take me to your place, cheri. I want to see your World War 2 medals.
Barney: In a minute, mon petite.
Marshall: All right, so that doesn't count.
Barney: What? Why?
Robin: She's French. That's like playing tennis with the net down.

Ted: You know what? I'll cover the security deposit. I'm glad to, because every dent in that place represents
a memory that I'll cherish forever. But on one condition. We all put aside ten bucks every week for the next year, and we come back here and we buy that 50-year-old scotch, And we toast the incredible life-changing year we've all had. [to a couple] Get out of our booth. [to his friends] Me with my new family, Marshall and Lily
in their new apartment, and Robin as the number one English-speaking journalist in the Pacific Rim, visiting us here in New York to celebrate this day. The day we closed an incredible chapter in our lives, only to open up a new one.
Woman: I think I left my cell...
Ted: Get out of here.
Future Ted: [v.o.] And one year later, that's exactly what we did.

Ted: And so let's raise a glass of $2,500 scotch to one hell of a year.
Robin: Amazing.
Barney: That's unbelievable.
Ted: It's kind of smoky, with a hint of aged cedar and... Do you guys taste the difference between this and ten-dollar scotch?
Marshall: Not at all.
Lily: No difference.
Barney: I want to cut mine with Red Bull.
Robin: Wendy, can you take a picture?
Future Ted: [v.o.] A lot of things did change that year, but some things stayed the same.
Lily: So... what do you say we move this party upstairs to the apartment?