Ted: I can't live here.
Marshall: It wouldn't be that bad. You could put a mini- fridge over there and maybe some knock hockey.
Barney: Knock hockey. Nice one, big mon.
Ted: Yeah, I meant New Jersey in general, not this basement. She wants me to move here? I don't get it. We discussed this months ago.
[flashback to Ted and Stella in the apartment:]
Ted: So, I was thinking, after the wedding, you and Lucy, can move in here
Stella: [chokes on her drink] Yeah, she could play out on the fire escape, maybe make friends with that guy who sleeps on that couch in the alley, ride her bike up and down Broadway. It's a great idea, Ted.
[Ted smiles]

Ted: I don't understand why you'd want to live in New Jersey when you have a chance to live in Manhattan? I thought having a rent-controlled apartment on the Upper West Side was half the reason she agreed to marry me.
Barney: Really, I thought it was the whole reason. What is up?!

Barney: Robin, hey. You're looking good. Bump the Barnacle.
Robin: Stella already told me not to.

Robin: It wasn't my first day. I showed up and there were 20 other people. It turns out, I didn't actually get the job. I only got an audition.
Barney: What, how did that happen?
Robin: I don't know. Because he told me that I got it.
[flashback:]
Robin: [on the phone] I got it? I got it!
[Robin puts her phone down and starts to dance in the bathroom]
Agent: And just to be clear, when I say you got it I mean an audition. You got an audition. I don't want there to be any confusion. You have an audition only. Not the job.
Robin: [runs back to the phone] Thank you. Thank you!

Marshall: Hey, Ted. Rock me like a furricane.
Ted: Nice. [Ted and Marshall fist bump]
Barney: Mean.

Robin: Okay, yeah, it's sucks, but what can I do? I mean, I'm not going to get that other job. You guys should have seen the other women at this audition. They all had more experience than me, were more ethnic than me. There was an African-American chick with blue eyes, how can I compete with that?
Barney: Mmm. You can't.

Lily: No, you can compete with anyone. You're Robin Scherbatsky. Confident. Strong. Tall. With crazy long legs
that look great in shorts.

Robin: I'm calling Joel.
Barney: No, Robin, if you call him right now, you will hate yourself Look, I have slept with lots of women who afterwards told me off and stormed out. And sometimes they'd pick up the phone and they'd call me and then we'd hook up again. And when we were finished, I could see that look on their faces, that look that says
they hate themselves and they wish they'd never called. But if you could see that look... Actually, you can see that look, there's a video. www dot...
Robin: No! Stop, okay? I won't call.

Stella: Don't drink the beer! I just remembered when I bought it. It was right before I got pregnant with Lucy. Ted, would you mind running to PriceCo and picking some up? Oh, and while you're there, maybe you could sign up for a card. I mean, you'll probably end up going there all the time.
Barney: [pointing at Ted] That's the look.

Barney: I will give you $100 to fist pump me. $200.
Lily: Just put it down, Barney. Your arm must be killing you by now.
Barney: $10,000.