Previous Episode Next Episode 

27Quotes from ‘Good Crazy’

How I Met Your Mother: Good Crazy

722. Good Crazy

Aired April 30, 2012

Marshall drives Lily crazy when he starts to panic that the baby is coming soon. Meanwhile, Ted struggles to move on from Robin when he hits the dating market again.

Quote from Barney

Barney: You know, it's funny. You tell the average guy you're dating a stripper, he thinks it's awesome. Heck, you tell your mom, she high-fives you so fast, she doesn't even take off her oven mitts. But if they had any idea
how difficult it is - the jealousy, the insecurity - those high fives would be high fives of condolence.
Ted: Barney, condolence high fives are not a thing.
Barney: They're a thing.
[flashback to Barney at work:]
Barney: I'm afraid we're gonna have to let you go. Up top.

Rate

Quote from Barney

Barney: No, I'm thinking of something much more traditional: online dating.
Ted: Yeah. No, thanks.
Barney: Come on, Ted, it's 2012. What do you expect, to meet some cute travel agent when you're readin' a newspaper at a bookstore? None of those things exist anymore.

Quote from Barney

Marshall: Lily's right. I've been acting crazy.
Barney: Nah, it's okay, bro. I mean, yeah, you've been a little crazy. But it comes from love. It's the same kind of crazy that makes a man offer his stripper girlfriend over half a million dollars of government bailout money not to rub up on other guys' junk. It's good crazy.

Quote from Lily

Lily: Man, Marshall's really stressing out about this baby. He's reading every book, watching breast-feeding documentaries. I woke up the other day, he had swaddled me. Sure, it was the best night's sleep I have had in months, but still...

Quote from Barney

Ted: Uh, so how was the shower?
Lily: It was good. Although there was one weird moment with Barney's new stripper girlfriend.
[flashback:]
Grandma Lois: Fifty laps a day? Oh, my goodness, young lady, that is a lot.
Barney: Oh, is it? Is it a lot, Grandma Lois? Yes, my girlfriend gets naked and sits on guys' laps for money. And, yes, sometimes it's as many as 50 laps in one day. And maybe society considers what she does to be "disgusting." Or "slutty." Or verging on "prostitution." Or "actual prostitution." But you know what? I accept her. And if you can't do the same, well, then shame on you. Shame. On. You.
Quinn: We were, um, talking about swimming, how I sometimes swim 50 laps a day.
Barney: Well, it's great cardio. Lois, can I top off your champagne?

Quote from Barney

Barney: Ah, listen to me and my boring couples' problems. How are you? How's the single life?
Ted: I wouldn't know. After this whole Robin thing, for the time being, I'm layin' low.
Barney: Laying low, as in sleeping with a really short chick? You guys doin' 39?

Quote from Barney

Ted: Barney, I will never, ever, ever try online dating.
Future Ted: [v.o.] That night, I tried online dating. And, kids, the first girl I found was amazing, beautiful, smart, funny, huge fan of pre-war architecture. Favorite poet: Neruda. Favorite movie: Ghostbusters. And she didn't hate Cleveland.
Ted: She's perfect. So I sent her an e-mail inviting her to... mini golf. [Ted's phone rings. He answers]
Barney: [on the phone] Mini golf? Who takes a first date to mini golf? I'm coming over.
[Barney enters Ted's apartment]

Quote from Barney

Barney: Oh, Ted, Ted, Ted, Teddy, Ted, Ted.
Ted: Who buzzed you in?
Barney: Did you really think you could start dating online and I wouldn't find out?
Ted: But- Wha- Th-This girl, she-she was-
Barney: Me. She was me, Ted. The photo was just of some girl I knew you'd never seen before. A very famous sports anchor on ESPN.

Quote from Lily

[flashback to Lily being awoken in the night by a klaxon:]
Lily: Marshall, what is that?
Marshall: I rigged this alarm to go off every three hours. I'm training myself for the sporadic sleep patterns of early parenthood. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a practice baby to soothe.
[present:]
Ted: You got to talk to him.
Lily: Yeah, I'll talk to him tonight. Maybe tomorrow morning.
Ted: One last swaddle?
Lily: It's just so cozy. It's like sleeping in a warm burrito.

Quote from Barney

Future Ted: [v.o.] The next day, I filled Barney in on my date.
Barney: Oh, Yobin.
Ted: No, Robyn. And for the rest of the night, every time I looked at her, I just saw Robin's face.
Barney: Well, I should hope so.
Ted: No, our Robin. Robin with an "l."
Barney: Uh, our Robin has two eyes, my friend. But that's good. You're forgetting what she looks like.

Quote from Barney

Marshall: I hope Lily's okay.
Barney: Okay. You know, that's it, bro. We're both turnin' off our phones for one hour.
Marshall: Motion denied.
Barney: Okay, you leave me no choice. Proposal: You give me one hour of phone-free bro time, during which we - and by we, I mean you - get magnificently, mythologically drunk. I'm talkin' needing subtitles when you speak drunk. If you can give me that... I will wear this.
Marshall: The- The ducky tie? I thought you threw that thing away.
Barney: I did. It came back.


 Episode 721 Episode 723 
  Select another episode