Barney Quote #1662

Quote from Barney in Good Crazy

Ted: Uh, so how was the shower?
Lily: It was good. Although there was one weird moment with Barney's new stripper girlfriend.
[flashback:]
Grandma Lois: Fifty laps a day? Oh, my goodness, young lady, that is a lot.
Barney: Oh, is it? Is it a lot, Grandma Lois? Yes, my girlfriend gets naked and sits on guys' laps for money. And, yes, sometimes it's as many as 50 laps in one day. And maybe society considers what she does to be "disgusting." Or "slutty." Or verging on "prostitution." Or "actual prostitution." But you know what? I accept her. And if you can't do the same, well, then shame on you. Shame. On. You.
Quinn: We were, um, talking about swimming, how I sometimes swim 50 laps a day.
Barney: Well, it's great cardio. Lois, can I top off your champagne?

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 ‘Good Crazy’ Quotes

Quote from Barney

Barney: No, I'm thinking of something much more traditional: online dating.
Ted: Yeah. No, thanks.
Barney: Come on, Ted, it's 2012. What do you expect, to meet some cute travel agent when you're readin' a newspaper at a bookstore? None of those things exist anymore.

Quote from Barney

Barney: You know, it's funny. You tell the average guy you're dating a stripper, he thinks it's awesome. Heck, you tell your mom, she high-fives you so fast, she doesn't even take off her oven mitts. But if they had any idea
how difficult it is - the jealousy, the insecurity - those high fives would be high fives of condolence.
Ted: Barney, condolence high fives are not a thing.
Barney: They're a thing.
[flashback to Barney at work:]
Barney: I'm afraid we're gonna have to let you go. Up top.

Quote from Barney

Marshall: Lily's right. I've been acting crazy.
Barney: Nah, it's okay, bro. I mean, yeah, you've been a little crazy. But it comes from love. It's the same kind of crazy that makes a man offer his stripper girlfriend over half a million dollars of government bailout money not to rub up on other guys' junk. It's good crazy.