Robin: Just let me explain.
Ted: You don't have to explain anything. You don't have to say it. It's fine.
Robin: Okay, but if relationships are like a freeway, then saying... "hm hm hm" is like getting into the carpool lane. And I don't want to take an exit, but... at the same time, I'm not ready to get into the carpool lane. Because what's in the carpool lane? Oh, it's a big diamond, and I'm just not ready to get...
Ted: Okay, Robin, Robin, stop. It's no big deal, you don't have to say it.

Robin: It's just, it's a big thing to say to someone, and I don't want to say it too soon.
Ted: What, you mean like I did?
Robin: No. I didn't... Yeah, like you did. I mean, you have to admit it, Ted, it was a little weird.
Ted: Weird... or courageous?
Robin: Pretty sure weird.

Robin: I mean, who gives it up on the first date?
Ted: Well, come on, it shows I'm brave and bold, like a knight.
Robin: No, it shows that you're an I-love-you slut.
Ted: Well, then you're an I-love-you prude. You know what? I take mine back.
Robin: You... What?
Ted: I take my "I love you" back.
Robin: You can't take it back.
Ted: Nah. Just did. Got it right here. But, you know, I'm such a slut. I'm just gonna give it away. Hey, you, sir. I love you.
Man: Thank you, man. I was going up there to jump. [the man hugs Ted]

Marshall: It's a big deal because it rewrites our history.
Lily: No, it doesn't. Look, have you been to the Empire State Building? No. You've only been in the lobby. People don't buy tickets to get in the lobby. They buy tickets to get to the top. Scooter only got in the lobby, and the lobby doesn't count.
Marshall: Really. Excuse me, sir, uh, can you tell me how to get to the Empire State Building?
Man: Um, we're in it right now.
Marshall: Thank you, sir. You're a very wise and brilliant man.
Man: You're right. Why would I throw that all away? I'm having the best day!

Robin: Katie, I'll admit, maybe I'm not in any place to lecture you on romantic relationships, but... but I just don't want you to make the same mistakes that I've made.
Katie: [laughs] Oh, believe me, Kyle is not gay.
Robin: That's not what I meant. I just wish you weren't in such a rush to grow up. Please don't do this.

Ted: Hey, that's great! You got through to her.
Robin: No, I didn't. You did. She told me that you talked to her.
[flashback to Ted talking to Katie at the Empire State Building:]
Ted: Hey, Katie.
Katie: Hey. Got another Empire State Building fun fact for me?
Ted: No. I wouldn't bore you with the seven million man-hours it took to build this 102-story testament to human will. So, you okay?
Katie: I don't know what everyone is freaking out about. Kyle, he's a really nice guy. He could've cheated on me with my lab partner Gretchen Gwynn, but he didn't. 'Cause he said he knew I'd find out.
Ted: That's very gallant.

Katie: So I told Kyle I wanted to wait... and he dumped me.
Robin: Oh, oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry. Aw, honey. I promise everything is gonna be okay. You want to watch The Little Mermaid and drink some YooHoo?
Katie: Only if you put a buttload of Kahlua in it.
Robin: Don't tell Mom.

Future Ted: [v.o.] Katie ended up having a great first time in New York. And the last thing we did before she left was go to the Empire State Building.
Ted: I am so glad we're finally doing this.
Barney: What are you talking about? We were here yesterday.
Marshall: Yeah, but that didn't really count. Oh, crap.
Lily: Exactly! So yesterday doesn't count as having gone to the Empire State Building. So I lost it to you, Marshall. And I rode that elevator to the top, and I saw that view, and I basked in the awesomeness. And that's our story.
Marshall: Yeah. Yeah, that's our story. We've only had sex with each other.
Lily: We've only had sex with each other.
Barney: They've only had sex with each other.

Ted: Ooh, okay, in, in we go, in we go. Okay, Empire State Building fun fact number 81: There are 1,860 steps from this... [The gang push Ted out of the elevator] Whoa, whoa! Come on!