Marshall: Why did she get into the captain's car and why didn't she tell me about it?
Ted: Well, maybe it was a work thing.
Marshall: No. She has a fight with me, goes to an EZ Pick, she gets into the Captain's Mercedes and three hours later, she doesn't want to go to Italy anymore? Do you think this means...?
Barney: That the Captain moored his dinghy in Lily's lagoon? Definitely.
Ted: That's crazy. You'd never moor a dinghy in a lagoon.
Billy Zabka: I don't know, Ted, in certain tidal conditions, if you had a protected inlet...
Marshall: You know what? It doesn't matter. Today is Barney's wedding. Let's just forget it.
Barney: Marshall, do you want to go over to the Captain's house right now, punch him in the face really fast, come back and do this wedding?
Marshall: Would that be okay?
Barney: Ranjit, get the car.
Ranjit: Getting the car.

Barney: [on the phone] Baby, I can't wait to meet your mom, but I kinda gotta go on a little excursion with the boys right now.
Lily: What? Where are you going?
Barney: Me and the boys have to go teach someone some manners. [hangs up]
Robin: Are there any elk on Long Island?

The Captain: Heck of a jab, Marshall. Well placed.
Marshall: Captain, I know something happened between you and Lily last night.
The Captain: What? No. Nothing happened. Captain's honor. You can ask my fiancee.
Marshall: Fiancee? What fiancee?
Becky: Captain, permission to clear things up?
The Captain: Granted.
Becky: Me. We're engaged.

Barney: It's "Boats! Boats! Boats!" Ted, look.
Ted: Yeah. I mean, yeah, I know her from that commercial.
Becky: [on commercial] Boats! Boats! Boats!
Ted: And only from that commercial.
Barney: No, you banged her. Remember? Like a bunch of times. You knocked boots, boots, boots.

Marshall: Alright, Captain, what the hell happened here last night?
The Captain: Well, it was just after four bells...
[flashback to The Captain answering the phone in the middle of the night:]
The Captain: Ahoy?
Lily: Hi. I know it's late, but I've gotta get out of here.
The Captain: [v.o.] So I sent the car. When she got here...
Becky: Lily, what a lovely...
Lily: Can I use your powder room?
[present:]
The Captain: And then she went to the powder room. She was in there quite a while, actually.
Barney: Probably a deuce. Go on.
The Captain: And when she came out, she had to leave right away. It was odd. But I assure you, nothing inappropriate happened between me and your wife.
Marshall: Captain, I understand what you're saying, but what you don't understand is that Lily is my wife and I love her way too much to behave rationally now. En garde!
Barney: This is the best day of my life.

Barney: [answers phone] Go for Barney.
Lily: Your bride is freaking the crap out right now. Where the hell are you?
Marshall: I warn you, Captain. I've pretended to have a duel with actual swords. Twice.
The Captain: I warn you, Marshall. I was on the Olympic fencing team. Won three gold medals.
Marshall: I warn you, Captain, I'm starting to feel like this was a mistake.

Robin: What is it? What's wrong?
Lily: I am so busted. Thank you, Linus.

Marshall: Mystery? What mystery?
Ted: Lily has a secret. She's hiding something... and I know what it is.
[Ted waits expectantly for someone to ask him. Nobody does for a long time.]
Marshall: Okay. What is she hiding?
Ted: I'll tell you in a minute. I want to enjoy the suspense a little bit first.

Barney: Oh, my God, will you just tell us?
Ted: Very well. Now, we can all agree that this is the first time, I've ever set foot in this house, correct?
Marshall: Oh, this is going to be unbearable.
Ted: Now, Captain, your powder room. Does it face out on the ocean?
The Captain: Of course. Right over the cliff.
Ted: Just as I suspected. And if I were to walk into this powder room right now, I believe I'd see a potted plant of some sort. Is that correct?
The Captain: Yes. There's a daisy.
Ted: A daisy. Interesting. Not traditionally an indoor plant, but I suppose it gets plenty of light with the southern exposure.
The Captain: That's right. It does.
Ted: Will you please fetch the daisy?
The Captain: Aye-aye.

Marshall: Lily? You're gonna have a baby?
Lily: I told you guys I could keep a secret.