Marshall: Alright, Captain, what the hell happened here last night?
The Captain: Well, it was just after four bells...
[flashback to The Captain answering the phone in the middle of the night:]
The Captain: Ahoy?
Lily: Hi. I know it's late, but I've gotta get out of here.
The Captain: [v.o.] So I sent the car. When she got here...
Becky: Lily, what a lovely...
Lily: Can I use your powder room?
[present:]
The Captain: And then she went to the powder room. She was in there quite a while, actually.
Barney: Probably a deuce. Go on.
The Captain: And when she came out, she had to leave right away. It was odd. But I assure you, nothing inappropriate happened between me and your wife.
Marshall: Captain, I understand what you're saying, but what you don't understand is that Lily is my wife and I love her way too much to behave rationally now. En garde!
Barney: This is the best day of my life.