Brad: Actually, something is weird. Randy wants to trade rooms with me.
Tim: What?
Randy: Brad's unhappy, Mom's unhappy. Let's face it, Dad. My having this room is splitting the whole family apart.
Tim: What's the real reason?
Randy: Why doesn't any one believe me? I'm just trying to do something nice.
Brad: Maybe 'cause that's never happened before?

Tim: Randy, we all put a lot of work into this room for you.
Randy: I know.
Tim: You scared down there?
Randy: No, I'm not scared. Gosh, a guy tries to do something nice for his brother and everyone jumps all over him.
Jill: Hi, sweetheart. How was your first night in your new room?
Randy: It was fine. Why does everybody keep on asking me about my room?

Jill: No. This is Randy's pillow. He obviously hid it up here. Which means he slept up here. Which means he didn't sleep down there. Which can only mean one thing.
Tim: Absolutely. What?
Jill: He's too scared to sleep in the basement.
Tim: No, he's not. I asked him. He said he wasn't scared.
Jill: Well, he's not going to admit it you. He'd be too embarrassed. I think I should be the one to handle this.
Tim: And what are you gonna do about it?
Jill: Well, maybe I should just sleep down there with him for a few nights until he gets adjusted.
Tim: Great idea. Then he'll have a whole new set of problems.

Tim: You know, when I was a kid I got scared a lot. Ooh, boy!
Randy: Really? What were you scared of?
Tim: Mostly my grandma and grandpa's house. They lived in this big old house. The attic was really cool. It had an arched roof, tin ceiling that made noise in the rain. Big fans. Lot of fun to play with in the daytime, but you couldn't force me up there at night. Oh, boy!
Randy: How come?
Tim: Oh, it was a real creepy place. And Grandpa didn't help. He told me there was a big blood-sucking bat up there. And he wasn't talking about Grandma.
Randy: So, you fell for Grandpa's blood-sucking bat story, huh? When he told me that I wasn't scared at all.
Tim: Yeah, but when he told it to me, he didn't have his teeth in. [hissing]
Randy: So I guess you eventually got over your fear of attics?
Tim: Didn't have to. A tornado took the top of the house off... bats and all.
Randy: So I guess you're not afraid of attics anymore.
Tim: Nope. Terrified of tornadoes but...

Tim: Well, there's a very important check list about weird stuff that happens in the basement. And without that information, it can be a pretty creepy place. What do you say we go over these items one by one?
Randy: That'd be great. How about we start with sounds?
Tim: Good one. All right, come on. Get your pillow. Now, this sound is very common: Gas furnace, number one.
Randy: Got it.
Tim: Number two. Tink-tink tonk-tonk-tonk-tonk... Air in the pipes. Don't worry about that.
Randy: Great.
Tim: This one. [gulping]
Randy: What basement sound is that?
Tim: That wouldn't be the basement. That would be coming from my room. I was trying to digest your mom's meat loaf. And don't worry about this one either. [door creaks] That's just the big blood-sucking bat coming down to get you in the basement.

Al: All right. As you can see, we've already framed our vent opening for heat and air. Now we're ready to attach the duct to the trunk line.
Tim: Trunk line? Al, would that be like a bunch of elephants doing the Conga? Bah-bum-bum-bum-bum-bah! Bah-bum-bum-bum-bum-bah! Bah-bum-bum-bum! Aah! Look out, Dumbo! Watch out...!
Al: I don't think so, Tim.
Tim: Bah-bum-bum-bum-bum! Bah-bum-bum-bum-bum!