Heidi: You'll be fine.
Tim: Almost ready to go, Heidi?
Heidi: Yeah.
Tim: [to Brad] Little nervous? Use a little trick I use to calm myself down. Just picture everybody naked.

Tim: Welcome to Tool Time. I am Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor, and we have a special treat for you today. Al's not here! [a man in the audience goes to leave] Hey, pal, sit back down! Got a special guest assistant for you. I want you to give a big, warm Tool Time welcome to my oldest boy, Brad "The Tool Boy" Taylor!
Brad: Hi, everyone.
Tim: Well, it's Craft Week here on Tool Time, and we're doing our salute... to scroll saws. That's right. We're gonna show you how to use a Binford 6100 scroll saw. Brad, why don't you tell us what a scroll saw can do?
Brad: It's used for cutting out intricate patterns in wood.
Tim: Right. You can also cut out intricate patterns in coat racks, hat racks, pipe racks, or Tyrannosaurus Rex. What manly design are you cutting out?
Brad: A heart for my girlfriend Ashley.
Tim: Can't get much more manly than that.

Tim: What are you doing?
Randy: Me? He's the one doing all the shoving.
Tim: 'Cause you're acting like a jerk.
Jill: Tim, Tim. Randy, what's going on?
Randy: Nothing.
Tim: This is a big deal for Brad. Instead of ragging on him, you should be happy for him.
Randy: You know, you're right, Dad. Why don't I just throw him a parade? His head's so big, he could be a float.

Jill: I know that you were a guest star on a low-rated cable show for a half an hour, but don't you think you're getting a little puffed up?
Brad: Well, I mean, I can't help it if everybody loved me.
Jill: I don't think that Randy loved you so much.
Brad: Mom, come on. I mean, Randy was a total jerk. He made fun of everything I did.
Jill: Well, that's because you got to be on TV and he didn't.
Brad: So you're saying Randy's jealous of me?
Jill: Yeah, a little.
Brad: Cool.
Jill: Brad, I want you to think about this. How do you feel when Randy comes home with a really great report card and waves that around under your face?
Brad: Not so cool.