Wilson Quote #349

Quote from Wilson in Jill's Passion

Heidi: Welcome to Tool Time on location. All this week we're gonna show you how to remodel and organize your garage.
Al: And as you can see, this garage is crammed full of every object imaginable.
Tim: There's one object missing. I think it's called an automobile.
Al: That's right. The owner of this garage has a classic Studebaker, but because it's so crowded in here, [bagpipes sound] he's got no place to put it.
Tim: First you want to do is start getting rid of the big objects, like this totem pole.
Wilson: No, no, no! I could never part with my pole!
Tim: This is my neighbor, Wilson. It's his garage we're trying to organize.
Wilson: Oh, my old bagpipes. [bagpipes sound]
Al: To clean out your garage, you have to part with stuff.
Tim: That's right. Let's start by getting rid of this old bathtub.
Wilson: No, no, no, no, no. That's my special tub right there. You know, in the Roaring Twenties, my father used this to make bathtub gin.
Tim: That would explain the duck without a liver and with a case of jaundice.


 ‘Jill's Passion’ Quotes

Quote from Tim

Jill: Tim, I feel like we're drifting apart.
Tim: We're not drifting apart.
Jill: You don't think so?
Tim: No. Our relationship is like any couple that's been married this long. It's comfortable. It's... It's like an old pair of shoes.
Jill: That's what our marriage has become to you? Worn-out footwear?
Tim: Not worn-out. Broken in. Stretched out. This isn't helping, is it?
Jill: No.

Quote from Wilson

Al: Well, how about dumping the tuba?
Tim: Yeah.
Wilson: No way!
Tim: How about the dog sled?
Wilson: Don't be ridiculous.
Al: The cannon?
Wilson: Never! [bagpipes drone]
Tim: How about something small?
Wilson: No, no, no, no. These are the gloves I wore in my exhibition bout with Sonny Liston.
Al: You were a boxer?
Wilson: Oh, yes, indeedy. Back then I was known as Sugar Wilson Wilson. [laughs]
Tim: To your corners, fellas. Get your own punching bag. This punching bag is mine.
Al: Well, sometimes to clear out your garage, the first thing you have to get rid of is the owner.

 Wilson Wilson Quotes

Quote from Bye Bye Birdie

Tim: I want Brad to be a good student.
Wilson: Mm-hm.
Tim: So I told him that multiplying compound fractions is a real important part of that. But, you know, between you and me, it's kinda useless information.
Wilson: Well, I don't know about that, Tim. There was a time when I thought my extensive research into ancient tribal cultures, obscure scientific data, the thoughts of great philosophers, would never come in handy. Then you moved in.

Quote from Doctor in the House

Wilson: A Ph.D.?! Tim? Aw, Jill, Jill, Jill, Jill... Do you realize how many hours I had to study to get my doctorate in forgotten languages and extinct cultures? Oh, my, my, my. Sitting in that library, reading that insufferable microfilm till I thought I would practically go blind? Not to mention that to support myself, I had to volunteer as a subject for lab experiments. Oh, oh. And the thing that really irritates me about this whole thing...
Jill: Wilson!
Wilson: Oh, Jill, Jill, talk me down, talk me down.
Jill: I came out here so you'd talk me down.
Wilson: Oh, I'm sorry, Jill. I just lost control.