Wilson: Jill, I can't thank you enough for bringing back this photo from the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame.
Jill: Well, you're welcome.
[Wilson holds up a picture of him as young man, wearing his trademark hat, in a group hug with The Beatles, his mouth hidden behind George.]
Wilson: You know, I was the cute one.

Tim: Look. Look. There's the cowboy outfit.
Jill: Oh, look. It still has the hole in it where Randy shot him with the arrow.
Brad: Here's my Cub Scout uniform from 2nd grade.
Jill: Oh, my God, yes!
Randy: And my racecar pajamas.
Jill: Oh... I don't recognize this piece here.
Tim: Those are the boxers I wore when I proposed to you.
Jill: You saved them all these years?
Tim: Until last week I was still wearing 'em.

Jill: [sings] Wild thing, I think I love you But I want to know for sure So, come on and hold me tight [humming] I love you [humming] [laughs as she sees Wilson watching her]
Wilson: [laughs] Well, my, my, neighborette! You seem awfully tickled to be getting rid of that garbage.
Jill: No, no, no. I'm just excited because I'm going to a hardware show.
Wilson: Who are you and what have you done with Jill?
Jill: No, no. I love these hardware shows because when Tim goes and does the Tool Time remote, l get to spend time with my boys.

Jill: We've been doing these trips with the boys since they were little. I remember this one trip. We went to Chicago and Randy vomited all over the Sears Tower elevator.
Wilson: [sighs] Ah, memories.
Jill: Mmm. I'm really excited this time because I'm taking them to the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame.
Wilson: They will love that. Boy, you are one happenin' mama!
Jill: Hey, I'm "a wild thing!"
Wilson: [sings] "You make my heart sing!"
Both: [sing] You make everything groovy

Randy: What kind of computer you got there?
Kevin: Oh, it's just a notebook with a Power PC processor, 64 megs of RAM, and a 33.6 modem.
Randy: [grunts]

Jill: Do you have brochures on things to do in Cleveland? I'm really looking forward to going to the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame.
Clerk: You're in luck. This weekend there's a fascinating exhibit called, "The Changing Face of Rock and Roll."
Jill: What's that about? Michael Jackson?
Clerk: [stares] Mrs. Taylor, we take our rock and roll very seriously here in Cleveland.
Jill: I guess.

Clerk: [dings bell] So, Mrs. Taylor, what sights have you seen so far?
Jill: Well, I wanted to go to Jacobs Field, but nobody else wanted to go. So, let's see, I've seen... the hotel vending machine.
Clerk: Mmm. Impressive, isn't it? The Cajun hot fries? My idea.

Jill: Oh, good. You're here! Mark and Randy will be down any minute. Where do you want to go for lunch?
Brad: Actually, I want to go back and check out some stuff at the hardware show.
Jill: But you can't be there and be with me.
Brad: Which brings me to my next question.
Jill: You don't want to be with me?
Brad: Well, no, no. It's not that I don't want to be with you. It's just that... Well, as you just pointed out, I can't be with you and at the show at the same time, so... see ya!

Jill: So, I guess since neither of them want to spend the day with their mother, you don't either.
Mark: Well, it's not that I don't want to. It's just... how would it look?
Jill: Fine. Nobody has to spend the day with me. I can entertain myself.
Mark: Cool. I'll be playing video games.
Jill: What about lunch?
Mark: I'll get some hot fries at the vending machine.
Clerk: My idea.

Tim: Hi. We're here at Bombs Away Pest Control. These guys will put those pesky bugs on a fumigation vacation.
Al: Well, the buzzword this year is "sonar." It's a process that uses sound waves to get rid of unwanted pests. [Jill waves to Tim as the Tool Time shoot continues]
Jill: [mouths]What time, need to talk.
Al: Like bees, fleas...
Tim: Or this jar filled with nasty, biting mosquitoes. Hold on. Just a second. Just a second. [to Jill] What is it?
Jill: Well, the boys abandoned me.
Tim: You came down and interrupted the show to tell me that?
Jill: Well, I didn't mean for you to stop. I wanted to signal you so you could tell me when you had time to talk.
Tim: And that signal would be this? [waves]
Jill: I'm sorry. I was just upset about the boys not wanting to be with me... [to the crowd] Excuse us, please?
Tim: Well, those kids can be so insensitive. Gotta go.