Luke: Hey, excuse me, but my customers aren't getting in the way of your thing here, are they?
Lorelai: Uh, no, they're fine.
Luke: Good. 'Cause I can kick them out or close down for you, if you like.
Lorelai: That's sweet, but we're good.
Luke: So you'll tell me if my business is in your way?
Lorelai: You'll be the first to know.

Luke: Okay, maybe you were missing my subtle sarcasm there when I mentioned my customers being in your way?
Lorelai: Oh, no. I didn't miss it at all.
Luke: Get your war room outta here.
Lorelai: Hey, this is for a good cause. Taylor bugs you, too.
Luke: Yes, he bugs me.
Lorelai: Okay then. We're trying to get rid of your little annoyance.
Luke: By becoming my new little annoyance?

Lorelai: Oh, hey, the night of the rally, we're gonna need a sort of backstage gathering area.
Luke: You cannot gather here.
Lorelai: But it's right across from the-
Luke: You cannot gather here.
Lorelai: See, the stage is right over-
Luke: You cannot gather here.
Lorelai: Do you like my hair like this?
Luke: Yes, and you cannot gather here.
Lorelai: Wow. Sleeping with you is getting me nothing.
Luke: Just gather your crap up, get it out. I need the tables.

Jackson: Quick, give me the baby.
[Jackson takes Davey outside to see a crowd of voters]
Lorelai: Is he gonna sell it?
Sookie: Oh. That's it, Davey. Work it, work it. Do the clapping, do the clapping.
Lorelai: Hmm. Very Manchurian Candidate of you.

Lorelai: That's a nice face.
Rory: I don't feel like driving all the way back to school tonight. I have to deal with James Joyce first thing in the morning. Is that okay?
Lorelai: The crashing or the dealing with James Joyce?
Rory: Crashing.
Lorelai: Absolutely. Crash away. Need a helmet?
Rory: Just a pillow.

Lorelai: He was sitting there all alone in the dark, downing spray whipped cream. He looked devastated.
Sookie: Yay!
Lorelai: I know, "yay."
Lorelai: But it's kind of sad, isn't it?
Sookie: Why? He deserves it.
Lorelai: I know, but no votes? None? That's humiliating. That's Swept Away kind of humiliating.
Sookie: Yeah, you're right. Too bad.
Lorelai: You're stilling "yaying" in your head, aren't you?
Sookie: In 5.1 surround.

Miss Patty: Jackson, now that we're done with the sidewalk issue, I would like to talk to you about the permit for expanding my dance studio to include a Tae Bo room.
Andrew: I have the pictures of the hedges right here. They're at least a foot above where they're supposed to be, and ruby won't cut them down.
Kirk: If you need someone in charge of homeland security, I am your man.

Lorelai: Hey. Grabbed us a little victory champagne, and I thought- You were asleep.
Luke: Oh, no, no. I was just doing some bills and things.
Lorelai: Doing bills?
Luke: Yeah.
Lorelai: In the dark?
Luke: Trying to conserve.
Lorelai: So, when you went up earlier, you were going to bed. You go to bed early, which makes sense, because you get up early. And, ugh, now I got it.
Luke: Hey, it's no big deal. Just come on in, Lorelai. [the kiss]
Lorelai: No, I can hold on to this till later.
Luke: Yeah?
Lorelai: Yeah. Good night. "Goes to bed early," I gotta remember that.
Luke: Only on some nights.
Lorelai: Hey, don't you also hate champagne?
Luke: Kind of.
Lorelai: Yeah. I'm learning, I'm learning.

Rory: [on the phone] Man, that's weird.
Lorelai: What's weird?
Luke: Who's weird? I'm weird?
Rory: The thought of Luke running around naked in my kitchen. It's weird.
Lorelai: Luke is not running around naked in your kitchen. He is sitting at the table, and, yes, he is naked.
Luke: Don't do that. Don't tell her I'm naked. I'm not naked. I'm not naked!
Rory: He sounds naked.
Lorelai: Well, the chairs are cold.

Lorelai: This is the third time, Michel.
Michel: I know.
Lorelai: This is the third time that "Bus-and-Truck-Tour Mussolini" has rejected our permit.
Michel: And I was there for every show.
Lorelai: What is rejection code "M"?
Michel: "Applicant's name does not match name listed on articles of incorporation."
Lorelai: Oh! Is he serious?!
Michel: Apparently you did not put your middle name on this application. However, you did put your middle name on the articles of incorporation. So the names don't match, and Taylor has no idea who you are.
Lorelai: Oh, I'm the person whose foot is going to prevent him from sitting down. That's who I am.
Michel: You always promise to hurt him, but then you don't. You're a Taylor tease.