Lorelai: [answers phone] Hello?
Rory: Cultural Disenfranchisement with Women's Role Models, do you have it?
Lorelai: Oh, God, I hope not.
Rory: It's the book for the class I'm officially late to.
Luke: [to Lorelai] What are you looking for?
Lorelai: A big, boring book.

Lorelai: [on the phone] He actually tried to make me breakfast.
Rory: Really?
Lorelai: Yeah, naked.
Luke: Okay, that's it, I'm gone.
Lorelai: Oh, no, no, no. Sorry, don't, no. Rory, Luke is fully dressed. He never came in the house. He just stood outside all night playing "In Your Eyes" on a boom box.

Rory: Introduce me to your friend.
Paris: This is a Blou printing press, 18th century.
Rory: And it's here because?
Paris: It's Asher's. He left it to me. It's beautiful, don't you think?
Rory: Yeah. Think it goes great with the entire width of the room.
Paris: I know it's a little cumbersome, but we don't have to leave it right here. We could move it about six inches in any direction.

Rory: Paris, we can't just leave it here.
Paris: I have nowhere else to put it.
Rory: But-
Paris: You have to think of the benefits of having it here.
Rory: Like?
Paris: No one else will have one, which means it's unique, which makes us unique. Kids our age do crazy things to make themselves unique - piercings, blue hair, Kabbalah. It will be a great conversation piece. We'll be the talk of Branford.
Rory: I believe we will.
Paris: We can print our own newsletter, if you'd like.
Rory: The Eccentric Gazette.

Rory: Paris, it's on my book bag. I'm late for class, and you put a printing press on my book bag?
Paris: Well, sorry. It's from my dead boyfriend, okay? I apologize if my grief is inconveniencing you. Maybe I'll just put myself on an iceberg and float myself out to sea so that no one will have to deal with my suffering.
Rory: Well, just get that thing off my bag before you go.

Michel: This is outrageous, and he will call me back and it had better be in a timely manner, or I will come down there and introduce myself, and, oh, the fun we'll have. [hangs up] Tst! I hate this chair!
Lorelai: What's the matter honey, Justin and Cameron having trouble again?

Paris: You're back with Farmer Boy? What gives?
Rory: Paris.
Paris: I thought he was married.
Rory: He was. Now he's not.
Paris: Well, well... Hoss returns. Who would've thunk?

Paris: If you're going to be bringing boys home now, we need a system.
Rory: I'm not bringing "boys" home. I'm bringing "boy" home. That boy. That's it.
Paris: I assume you're having sex.
Rory: Paris!
Paris: You're having sex. Well, luckily, I just bought some noise-reducing headphones, so that'll help.
Rory: Oh, boy.
Paris: If I put the headphones on, then stuff towels under the door, that should do the trick.
Rory: Hey, if you've got extra towels to stuff, I got a location suggestion.

Lane: [on the phone] I usually like grocery shopping. This stripped it of all enjoyment.
Rory: I thought you hated grocery shopping with the guys. You always bicker.
Lane: But that's fun bickering. That's bickering we'll look back on in 20 years, slap each other on the backs and say, "Wha-ho, good times."
Rory: So you'll be Dickens characters in 20 years?
Lane: You know what I mean.

Lane: [on the phone] Listen, I'm going to play two Rilo Kiley songs - one pre-Jenny/Blake breakup, one post. Tell me if you hear a quality difference. [music plays]