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‘Tick, Tick, Tick, Boom!’ Quotes Page 1 of 3    

Gilmore Girls: Tick, Tick, Tick, Boom!

418. Tick, Tick, Tick, Boom!

Aired April 20, 2004

Lorelai and Jason attend a dinner with his parents at Richard and Emily's house. Meanwhile, Rory is unhappy when Dean admits he's dropped out of school, and Kirk desperately searches for the rotting remnants of the town's Easter egg hunt.

Quote from Lorelai

Lorelai: Yes, where did all the anvils go?
Emily: You're talking about those big, heavy, metal things?
Lorelai: That blacksmiths hammered horseshoes and stuff on. Everyone had them. They were featured prominently in every movie western, so where did they all go?
Richard: I don't know that they were that common.
Lorelai: Wile E. Coyote used them. That's how common they were.
Emily: Who?
Lorelai: The cartoon. He was always trying to drop an anvil on the Road Runner's head or shoot it at him out of a giant slingshot or fire it at him out of a cannon. Inevitably, the cannon tilted up, shot it in the air, it fell down, and made an anvil-shaped impression on Wile E. Coyote's head.
Emily: This is a cartoon?
Lorelai: No, no, this just happened to me the other day. I was walking down the street, and this giant anvil- Yes, mother, it's a cartoon.

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Quote from Lorelai

Rory: I know she sounds nuts, but it's a very common cartoon.
Richard: But that doesn't prove that anvils were so common.
Lorelai: It does. It proves that anvils were so ubiquitous at one point - Is that the word, ubiquitous?
Rory: It depends on where you're going.
Lorelai: That they knew that children would know what they were and delight in them. That's how common they were, children watching cartoons.
Rory: That was the word.
Richard: I've forgotten your point.
Lorelai: Where are all the anvils? I mean, is there some sort of secret anvil storage facility the government is keeping from us?
Richard: Or they fell into disuse with the advent of other technologies, and so they melted them down and they're gone.
Lorelai: But they're not supposed to melt. They were made to withstand the red-hot hammer of the town blacksmith.
Emily: This is easily the most pointless conversation we've ever had.
Lorelai: I don't hear anyone chiming in with rational theories.

Quote from Lane

Lane: There was a death-to-disco movement in the late '70s. Very intense. We had Donna Summer on the run.
Rory: "We?" You weren't born yet.
Lane: I'm a kindred spirit.
Rory: Gotcha.
Lane: So where's the passion now, huh? Where is it?
Rory: There's no disco to kill anymore. They wiped it out.
Lane: But there are other things that need wiping out. Phony rappers, most techno, alt country, Christian rock, anything fusion, classic alternative radio, when all they do is play the same Nirvana song over and over, the Rubens, the Clays, the Clarksons.
Rory: It's gonna be a bloodbath.

Quote from Lorelai

Lorelai: All right, Davey, here comes the airplane.
Jackson: What did they say to kids to get them to open their mouths before there were planes?
Sookie: "Here comes the choo-choo."
Jackson: And before there were trains?
Lorelai: "Here comes the spoon."
Jackson: That's so on the nose.
Lorelai: One more bite, honey. Come on, now. Here comes the airplane again. It's flying through the air. It's beginning its descent. It's commencing its approach. It's lowering the landing gear.
Luke: It's signaled the ground crew. They're flipping their flashlight thingies. Would you shove that in the kid's mouth?
Lorelai: Oh, look, it's Bilbo Baloneypuss just in from the shire.

Quote from Michel

Lorelai: Try it against that wall there.
Michel: We've already tried it there.
Dean: It's no problem.
Michel: No problem for you, but this is giving me cuticle damage. Do you know how long cuticle damage takes to heal?
Dean: Thank God, no.
Lorelai: No, it doesn't work there either.
Michel: What an enormous shock. Anywhere else you want to try it? Maybe at the Lincoln Memorial on his giant lap?

Quote from Kirk

Taylor Doose: Jackson, a question?
Jackson: Toupee guy says what?
Taylor Doose: What? [laughter] What are you laughing about?
Kirk: Jackson said, "Toupee guy says what?" Inspiring your understandable response of "What?" Thus soliciting their childish laughter. It's infantile and a total clam.

Quote from Lane

Rory: So, what are we looking for?
Lane: Well, we still have no fridge, no stove, and no microwave, so nothing perishable, nothing that requires boiling water, and nothing that needs to be cooked.
Rory: I'm guessing the day-old sushi is out.
Lane: It was never in.
Rory: Beef jerky?
Lane: Definitely.
Rory: And protein bars.
Lane: Oh, I'm sorry. When did I win the lottery?
Rory: Protein bars are a luxury?
Lane: They are when you live with guys that eat ten of everything when one's the correct portion. Got to keep that proportion cost low.
Rory: Pretzels.
Lane: Perfect.
Rory: And, of course, the perennial Pop-tart.
Lane: Oh, load up on those.

Quote from Lane

Rory: How about marshmallows?
Lane: Sure, and throw in a Park Avenue mansion while you're at it.
Rory: Another luxury. Got it.

Quote from Lane

Rory: Hey, melba toast.
Lane: Cheap, tasteless, and filling.
Rory: I'll grab a bunch.
Lane: And I'll get one bag of marshmallows so the boys can have a treat afterwards.

Quote from Kirk

Luke: Your eyes are spinning in different directions.
Kirk: I've been up for one and a half days straight. I haven't done that since the Petticoat Junction marathon in '97.
Luke: Right. Caught a little of that myself.

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