‘Tick, Tick, Tick, Boom!’
Season 4, Episode 18 - Aired April 20, 2004
Lorelai and Jason attend a dinner with his parents at Richard and Emily's house. Meanwhile, Rory is unhappy when Dean admits he's dropped out of school, and Kirk desperately searches for the rotting remnants of the town's Easter egg hunt.
Quote from Kirk
Taylor Doose: Please report every found egg to me, and I will keep the running total. Now, good luck, and let the hunt begin.
Kirk: We won't let you down, Taylor, because not only are we gonna find twenty eggs within the hour, but we're going on to find twenty-five and then thirty and then thirty-five and then forty and then forty-five and then fifty until we find all fifty-nine and take back the square! [squealing] Ye-e-e-e-e-ah!
Jackson: Hurt your throat?
Kirk: Very badly.
Joe: Found one!
Taylor Doose: Fifty-eight to go.
Kirk: Good job, Joe.
Quote from Lorelai
Lorelai: It's a dark corner. The plant livens it up.
Jason: Plants need light.
Lorelai: They do?
Jason: It's the "photo" part of photosynthesize.
Lorelai: Oh, don't some plants just synthesize?
Jason: They really need the photo part.
Lorelai: None of the plants I ever had needed light.
Jason: Any of them live?
Lorelai: No. Whoa, insight!
Jason: Poor thing doesn't stand a chance.
Quote from Rory
Rory: I'm mad at Dean about doing this, but I'm more mad at Lindsay.She's so selfish.
Lane: Women.
Rory: She's his wife. She should be encouraging him to go to school and think about his future, but, no, she needs a townhouse and a Rolls-Royce.
Lane: They're buying a Rolls-Royce?
Rory: No, but they are the townhouse, and he didn't even seem that excited about it.
It's just Lindsay. I mean, why doesn't she get a job. What does she do all day?
[As Rory and Lane turn the corner of the grocery store aisle, they come face to face with Lindsay. Lindsay turns around and walks out.]
Rory: So, you think you think she heard?
Quote from Lorelai
Jason: Wow, look at that.
Lorelai: Groucho, Chico, Harpo, and Zeppo together again.
Quote from Richard
Rory: Excuse me, Grandma.
Emily: Yes, sweetie?
Rory: Elsa said to say that dinner's in fifteen minutes.
Emily: Did she ask you to do some vacuuming, too? She sends my granddaughter out to do her job.
Floyd: How many maids has Emily been through, Richard? We used to keep a running count.
Richard: No, I'm afraid western mathematical principles cannot accommodate such a task.
Quote from Lorelai
Lorelai: I believe that's you very lovingly holding your nephew, who looks very happy in your arms.
Jason: I just told him I'd opened a no-load mutual fund for him. Tracks the S&P.
Lorelai: You sentimental fool.
Quote from Richard
Richard: I couldn't get Hennessy's to put my favorite cigars aside for me. This after twenty years of giving them my business.
Floyd: Big mistake.
Jason: Love these kind of stories.
Richard: So I bypassed the bastards. I found their supplier. I swooped in and bought all of my favorites in bulk. Hundreds of boxes, cash on the barrel. So now Hennessy's couldn't get them.
Jason: Hundreds of boxes?
Richard: Oh, I couldn't have smoked them in three lifetimes, so I kindly offered to sell Hennessy's my excess supply. They leapt at it like dogs for a bone. And I made enough to pay for the boxes that I kept.