Lorelai: Patio looks great, Mom.
Emily: I guess. Where's that awful light coming from?
Rory: I think it's the moon?
Lorelai: You're not thinking of having the moon moved, are you, Mom?
Emily: I suppose it will move on its own at some point.

Kirk: Flower show's tomorrow. Flower show's tomorrow, and I can't find the last twelve eggs. I let Taylor down. He's like a father to me. I think he is my father.
Luke: He's not your father.
Kirk: No, my father's my father, which means Taylor's my tailor. I wonder how much he charges to hem pants.
Luke: He's not your tailor.

Luke: It's the noise they make.
Lorelai: This baby has not made a peep.
Luke: He will and at the worst possible moment.
Lorelai: Like when you're defusing a bomb or something?
Sookie: [gasps] That would be awkward.
Luke: You've got one minute to order, then six minutes to eat.
Lorelai: Yessiree, come on down to Luke's, where the motto is "eat it, then beat it."
Luke: One minute.

Taylor Doose: There is a distinct odor outside our establishments, and I have to assume it's coming from the diner.
Luke: There's no odor coming from my diner.
Taylor Doose: It wasn't there when I left for my trip. Where else could it be emanating from?
Luke: I don't know. Have you checked underneath that thing on your head?
Taylor Doose: I'm, uh, combing it differently.
Luke: The comb didn't loosen the glue?

Michel: Oh, my God, I'm getting a blister.
Sookie: Hey, how about by the front desk?
Lorelai: We could give it a shot.
Michel: That's it! I'm jumping off the Amistad. This is heavy, my back hurts, I'm not moving it again.
Dean: No problem. [lifts the table single-handedly] I can do it.
Michel: It's not me. It really is heavy.

Sookie: I think it's a lost cause.
Lorelai: We've got the Dennis Kucinich of bookcases.

Michel: The Deans of the world always get the Lindsays. The pretty little things just like the bookcase lifters.
Lorelai: That's a category? Jocks, nerds, bookcase lifters?
Michel: I was born with this bad back. It was heretical.
Lorelai: Congenital.
Michel: Ugh. Well, I hate that bookcase. I wish you had never ordered it. I wish you had never thought of it. I can't even be in the same room with it, mocking me for how alone I am.
Lorelai: It's mocking you?
Sookie: It's three pieces of wood.
Michel: Well, I hate it, hate it, hate it, hate it!

Richard: Don't get the wrong idea. It's not a big company. It's smaller than ours, but very powerful.
Lorelai: Wait, the company is smaller than yours? Your company is two guys, you and Jason.
Richard: This company is a one-man operation, Bob Sutton.
Lorelai: So, you're acquiring Bob?
Richard: We're acquiring his company, and his company is him.
Lorelai: Did he have to give himself two weeks' notice? [Rory chuckles] Is there gonna be a sad little going-away party where he brings in his own cake and blows out his candles?

Lorelai: You're not big on the Bob?
Emily: Bob's fine. We've known him for years. It's that dolt he's married to, classic trophy wife.
Richard: She is quite young.
Lorelai: How young?
Emily: Her car looks just like Barbie's.
Richard: Regardless, I hope you will be kind to her at dinner.
Emily: I'll have to bring my English-to-dumbbell dictionary.

Kirk: It's not skunks, it's eggs. Easter eggs from the Easter egg hunt.
Taylor Doose: But Easter was over a week ago.
Kirk: And I did it just like you told me. I personally hid 300 eggs around the town square, and the kids had a blast hunting them down, except the Banyan boys. They're bad seeds. Going to hell, both of them. But the kids only found 241 of them.
Taylor Doose: Are you telling me that there are fifty-nine rotting eggs hidden in the square?
Kirk: I thought they would naturally decompose and just disappear.
Taylor Doose: Eggs smell when they decompose.
Kirk: I just found that out. [Taylor walks away] I find your hair very believable.