Luke: Listen.
Lorelai: Are you cooking?
Luke: Is that listening?
Lorelai: Well, I'm hungry.
Luke: Focus.
Lorelai: I'm hungry.
Luke: Shh.
Lorelai: Fine. I don't hear anything.
Luke: Exactly.
Lorelai: Okay, Simon, Garfunkel.

Luke: You're not happy they're gone?
Lorelai: No, I am. I just wanted to say "goodbye."
Luke: Goodbye?
Lorelai: I wanted to have a "We're done" party, buy them some pizza.
Luke: More pizza.
Lorelai: And I had going-away presents for them.
Luke: I gave them a present, a $2,000 going-away present. That's got to bring some smiles.
Lorelai: But I bought paper hats and noisemakers.
Luke: The place was covered with dust. You were woken up at 6:00 a.m. every morning by the hammering. I thought you'd be happy.
Lorelai: I am. I'm just sad at the same time. You've never been with a woman before?

Emily: Sumatra, please get my granddaughter a plate.
Rory: That's all right, Sumatra. I'm just going up to my room.
Emily: Sumatra, please tell my granddaughter that all food is to be consumed in the dining room.
Rory: Sumatra, please tell my grandmother, what?
Emily: That's the rule in this house, Rory.
Rory: I'm late for community service.
Emily: Food is meant to be consumed in the dining room or not at all.
Rory: What about when you take your tea outside on the patio?
Emily: That is in the afternoon. This is the morning, and in the morning you eat at the table in the dining room.
Rory: Fine. I'll be back this afternoon.
Emily: [to Sumatra] Well, if you expect that muffin to fly back to the kitchen, you'd better go get it a cape.

Sookie: I have to go to China.
Lorelai: Enjoy your flight.
Sookie: I need inspiration. I need ideas. I'm tapped-out, boring. You know what's on the menu tonight?
Lorelai: What?
Sookie: Goose with oyster stuffing.
Lorelai: What?
Sookie: I know. But that's all I could come up with. And the only reason I thought of that was because Davey just learned "duck duck goose," and the ducks looked puny, so there you go.
Lorelai: Well, say hi to Yao Ming for me.
Sookie: Will do.

Lorelai: This is a formal invitation, written by me on the Dragonfly notepad about five minutes ago, inviting you and Jackson to a housewarming dinner at my newly completed pad.
Sookie: It's done.
Lorelai: It's done.
Sookie: Saturday night.
Lorelai: I've heard it's all right for fighting, get a little action in.

Lorelai: They seem different.
Luke: They're nachos. Now eat them.
Lorelai: You used baked chips.
Luke: What?
Lorelai: You did, didn't you? You used baked chips and low-fat cheese.
Luke: I did not use low-fat cheese.
Lorelai: Ha!
Luke: How can you tell?
Lorelai: How could you lie?
Luke: They taste the same!
Lorelai: Oh, the trust, Luke. How are we going to make it if you're trying to keep me healthy?
Luke: Fine. Forget it. Die at 60.
Lorelai: Bring me a donut while I wait.

Lorelai: Something wrong?
Lane: Wrong?
Lorelai: Yeah, you're giving me a Valerie Cherish. "I don't wanna see that!" It's a great show. You should watch it.
Lane: I will.
Lorelai: It's canceled.
Lane: Oh, sorry.
Lorelai: Well, it's not your fault, so...

Lorelai: Wow, what's going on here? Usually when I come in, you say hi, I say hi, and you tell me what's going on in your life, and I tell you what's going on in my life. It's not curing the bird flu or anything, but it's been a nice tradition.

Sookie: Chicken and dumplings going in.
Lorelai: You do know the pile of burgers sitting in the refrigerator is intended for human consumption.
Sookie: I never go anywhere without a casserole.
Lorelai: Must make dining out rather awkward.
Sookie: Look, if by some chance Luke happens to burn the chicken or overcook the burgers, then we won't starve. If everything turns out perfect, then you can freeze the casserole and eat it for the rest of your life.
Lorelai: Perfect plan.

Lorelai: More books.
Michel: Ugh, what is wrong with people? Don't they know the written word is dead?
Lorelai: Uh, books are back, Oprah says.