Sookie: I've got 30 pounds of aged beef, trays and trays of trout, mountains of prune tarts. I diced pumpkins until my hands turned orange. I've got pumpkin hands.

Luke: What's she doing?
Lorelai: I think she's inviting you for dinner.
Sookie: Yeah, come on, join us. It'll be fun. You like peacock pie?
Luke: I'm 100% sure I don't.

Rory: Are these last year's cards or this year's?
Lorelai: This year's. Hey, don't scoff.
Rory: Last year's set was here till Halloween.
Lorelai: If that's a crack at my housekeeping skills, then okay.

Rory: This is one ugly-looking baby. Whose baby is this?
Lorelai: That's your second cousin Stan's poor kid.
Rory: He got Stan's everything.
Lorelai: That's not even the ugliest baby in the bunch.
Rory: You're kidding. Ouch.
Lorelai: That's the ugliest baby in the bunch.
Rory: I don't understand why people put pictures on cards?
Lorelai: Do they not understand we are unapologetic mockers?
Rory: There's an unexplained innocence in the world.

Rory: Nice-looking lady.
Lorelai: Like a young Tammy Faye Bakker.
Rory: But prettier than that.
Lorelai: Oh, I didn't mean not pretty.

Babette: Hey, dolls.
Lorelai: Welcome.
Babette: Are we the first ones here?
Lorelai: Yes, you are.
Babette: Now, don't you freak out. Morey hates being the first anywhere. He thinks it hurts his street credibility.
Morey: Charlie Parker was late to everything.
Babette: Charlie Parker had more drugs in him than a Rite Aid. Forget Charlie Parker.
Rory: You guys are in Room 8. It's all ready for you.
Babette: Thanks, doll. Come on, Morey. We could be late for dinner if it'll make you feel better.
Morey: A little.

Paris: Here are the materials on the double issue. Some of the articles will need complete re-writes.
Rory: Wow.
Paris: Madeline's 500 words on test anxiety spends 400 of them arguing that stretch corduroy is the best material for low-rise jeans.
Rory: Well, let's see. Corduroy is a fabric. And the fabric of society is weakened when students...
Paris: You can't get there.
Rory: Yeah, it doesn't look like it.

Paris: I'll get out of your way. Call if you need to talk things through. Oh, and she uses the Prince version of writing. A letter 'U' for 'you' and a picture of an eye for an 'I.'

Rory: Hey, Paris, do you have anything going on tonight?
Paris: What's that supposed to mean?
Rory: It means, do you have anything going on tonight?
Paris: Well, my parents are out of town, so my Portuguese nanny will make dinner. Then I'll either get back to reading The Iliad or we'll play Monopoly. I crush her every time.
Rory: Well, I was just thinking maybe you want to stay for dinner.
Paris: Here?
Rory: Yeah. We have a ton of food and it's, like, a whole big show. And if you're not doing anything-
Paris: Rereading The Iliad a third time is not "not doing anything". I'm not pathetic.
Rory: I know you're not. I just thought it might be fun, that's all.

Sookie: It tastes too 20th-century, guys. It's got to shout, "Washington Irving"! Not, "Irving, my accountant". It needs something.