Jackson: We're selling the truck.
Sookie: What?
Jackson: It's the only way we're going to afford the minivan.
Sookie: I thought you broke the calculator.
Jackson: I'm using a pencil. Hi, Lorelai.
Lorelai: Hi Jackson, congratulations.
Jackson: We don't need a van. And I'm getting a haircut and buying a second tie. [phone rings] Oh, I'll get it. It's probably the contractor.
Sookie: What contractor?
Jackson: The add-on.
Sookie: What add-on?
Jackson: The expansion, Sookie, the expansion.

Sookie: He's expanding something.
Lorelai: He's being very cryptic.
Sookie: I don't wanna expand anything. And did you see his eyes?
Lorelai: Tasmanian devil.
Sookie: And when I came home, he was baby-proofing the house, he'd thrown away all our prescription drugs, and he was stuffing newspaper into the electrical sockets. He's insane.

Lorelai: Have you tried slapping him?
Sookie: No, he won't let me lift my arm above my head in case it stretches Baby. This stinks. We never even got to celebrate. He went straight to budgets and minivans.
Lorelai: Oh, well, what he's doing is sweet in its own obnoxious way.
Sookie: I guess I'll have to let him be male.

Jackson: What is this?
Sookie: It's my cleaver.
Jackson: What if Baby fell on it?
Sookie: You mean, what if Baby rolled off the sink and into the open second drawer? It wouldn't be good.
Jackson: It has to go.
Sookie: I need it to chop stuff.
Jackson: We're switching to plastic.
Sookie: I can't use plastic.
Jackson: And the Saran Wrap's history, too.

Paris: Well, look who's suddenly decided to become Kofi Annan.
Rory: Excuse me?
Paris: Charleston thinks we need to play nice with each other, so he screws up the whole bicentennial. This sucks.
Rory: Yes, it does suck.

Paris: You could say no.
Rory: Why could I say no? You could say no.
Paris: I could not say no. C-SPAN is going to be there.
Rory: Well, I like C-SPAN as much as you do.
Paris: You do not.
Rory: I do, too. Ask my mom, it's all I talk about.

Rory: What are you doing here?
Paris: We have a speech to write.
Rory: Yes, but we were supposed to do it over the phone. That was the plan.
Paris: It's a ridiculous plan. We have to put two speeches together. We have to rehearse them, we have to hone our timing. None of that can be done effectively over the phone.
Rory: But it was your idea.
Paris: Oh, like you fought me on it?

Paris: Let's read. Why did you use this font?
Rory: Because I was on the crack.

Paris: Rory?
Rory: What, Paris?
Paris: I slept with Jamie. Last night, after we talked.
Rory: Was it something I said?
Paris: I went over there to study and he lit a fire and then we did it. What are your thoughts on that?
Rory: My thoughts?
Paris: Because I'm not exactly sure how I feel about it myself yet.

Lorelai: I'm taking you shopping tomorrow.
Rory: Why?
Lorelai: It just seems time... for new shoes.
Rory: Okay. [walks off]
Lorelai: [singsong] I've got the good kid.