Lorelai: I was almost crushed by a papier-mache star. How's your day?
Luke: Well, it's looking pretty good now.
Lorelai: Coffee, please, and a shot of cynicism.
Luke: So, why so cheery?
Lorelai: I don't know. I'm just in a mood.
Luke: But there's no particular reason for this mood?
Lorelai: No. You don't believe me?
Luke: I believe you. You say there's no reason for the mood, there's no reason for the mood. Simply nuts.
Lorelai: Or bipolar. That's very big nowadays.

Lorelai: "We got new coffeemakers." Ugh. What was I thinking?
Rory: Well, you spent a lot of time picking out those coffeemakers.
Lorelai: Yeah, I'm Mrs. Coffee.

Rory: Mom, it's just Luke's ex-girlfriend.
Lorelai: I know. I just hate that I made myself look so stupid in front of-
Rory: Luke?
Lorelai: No, Rachel. She was standing there, fresh off a plane. She had no plane hair at all, might I add.
Rory: What exactly is plane hair?
Lorelai: You know. It's all big and all... Gah.
Rory: Got it.
Lorelai: And he's looking at her like she's Miss September. And she's looking at him like he's Johnny Depp and I was just babbling like a moron. What is wrong with me?

Lorelai: I haven't had a lot of time to focus on it, and I miss Max.
Rory: I know.
Lorelai: I had a dream about him the other night.
Rory: Really? Dirty?
Lorelai: Absolutely not. And when you're 21, I'll tell you the real answer. Anyway, it's put me in a funk since then.
Rory: I'm sorry.
Lorelai: Me, too. We could talk about me for years, and believe me, we will. But let's focus on you, the lady of the evening. No hooker reference intended.
Rory: Glad to hear it.

Lane: I just can't believe it!
Rory: I know.
Lane: I mean, three months! That's like one sixty-fourth of your life! I have to stop hanging out with you. You're making my life seem too pathetic.
Lorelai: Join the club.

Lorelai: Thanks, Mom, for letting Rory out of dinner tonight. She really appreciated it.
Emily: Well, she deserves to celebrate. A three-month anniversary is a landmark feat at her age. Or at any age, for some people.
Lorelai: I was gonna get a drink. I'm gonna get right on that.

Lorelai: Is this a setup?
Emily: What?
Lorelai: Connecticut Ken in there. Is he my invited escort for the evening?

Dean: How was the salad?
Rory: Great.
Dean: What about that cheese bread thing? Too heavy?
Rory: Just heavy enough.
Dean: Really?
Rory: Everything was perfect. Even the soda was good. I don't know how they do it but the Coke here is definitely superior to the Coke anywhere else.
Dean: Okay. At what point during that did you start making fun of me?
Rory: I would never make fun of you. Especially not after you ordered three kinds of pasta just because I couldn't decide.
Dean: Well, you shouldn't have to decide. I mean, tonight you should have everything you want.

Emily: Chase, I'm simply fascinated about your work situation. Tell us how you wound up back here at home. You move away to make your fortune, you end up right back here. Isn't life funny?
Lorelai: Hilarious.
Richard: It's a comedy for the masses.

Dean: Okay, we're here.
Rory: We're where?
Dean: Come on.
Rory: What is this?
Dean: Okay, did you ever see Christine?
Rory: Yes.
Dean: Well, it's nothing like that. Come on.