Lorelai: Do you want Tater Tots also?
Rory: That's a rhetorical question, right?
Lorelai: Right.

Max Medina: [on the phone] You know her taste in jewelry better than I do. I thought maybe you could give me advice.
Rory: Anything with the word 'foxy' on it is a big crowd-pleaser.
Max Medina: Maybe for our first anniversary.

Max Medina: [on the phone] The third one is from the '20s.
Rory: From the '20s? Hmm.
Max Medina: Large diamond in the middle.
Rory: Large diamond in the middle.
Max Medina: Diamond clusters on the sides.
Rory: Diamond clusters on the sides.
Max Medina: And it's a little deco.
Rory: And it's a little deco. [Lorelai squeals] That sounds great. Good going. She's going to be ecstatic.
Max Medina: She's right there with you, isn't she?
Rory: What? No.
Max Medina: I thought I heard her bark.
Rory: No, that's just a wild jackal that hangs out here sometimes.
Max Medina: Mmm-hmm. Put Cujo on the phone, please.
Rory: One sec. Here, boy.

Rory: Are you coming in?
Dean: In a sec. Where's your mom?
Rory: In the kitchen, on the phone.
Dean: Beginning, middle, or end of a conversation?
Rory: Well, it concerns jewelry, so there may not be an end to the conversation.

Lorelai: [o.s.] [Southern accent] Oh, my. That coffee can is just so high up there. Whatever will I do?
Dean: Coming.

Emily: Richard, don't you dare get on that phone. They'll be here any second.
Richard: I'm not getting on the phone. I'm going to give Rory that first edition of Mencken's Chrestomathy.

Dean: Should we do the beer thing again?
Lorelai: Uh... I don't think so.

Emily: Then, I guess it must be present time.
Rory: You didn't have to.
Lorelai: Yeah, Mom, you didn't have to. Unless you got something that'll fit me, too. In which case, good going.

Rory: That man is impossible.
Lorelai: Twinkie?
Rory: He just attacks Dean out of nowhere and Dean is sitting there being perfectly nice, and then all of a sudden- God, I'm so mad. He's a snob.
Lorelai: Yes.
Rory: And he doesn't listen. He just wants to say horrible things and have you sit there and listen to him and then just agree with him. What is that all about?
Lorelai: Ah, that is about a hundred years' worth of inbreeding.
Rory: I've never seen him be mean before, ever. Not like that. I don't know how I'll ever talk to him again. And Dean, he must be so upset right now. I hate that he did this to him. I hate it.

Richard: What is Lorelai thinking, letting Rory run around with a boy like that? Well, of course, she isn't thinking. She never thinks.
Emily: Richard, please. You're giving me a headache.
Richard: And what were you thinking, inviting him over here?
Emily: We told her she could invite someone. You were right there.
Richard: I did not mean him.
Emily: Please calm down.
Richard: I will not calm down. Did you hear the way she talked to me?
Emily: Yes, I heard the way she talked to you.
Richard: She sounded like her mother.
Emily: You were attacking her boyfriend.
Richard: A girl that age shouldn't have a boyfriend.
Emily: You truly think a 16-year-old girl isn't going to date?
Richard: Well, of course she's going to date, and she should date. Proper socialization is important to a child. But she should not date one boy, and she should not date him. [phone rings] Don't answer that.
Emily: I'm going to answer it.
Richard: Emily, we are in the middle of a discussion.
Emily: I'm sure you'll remember exactly where you were five minutes from now.