Sookie: You know, after breaking up out of a big relationship, it's normal to have a rebound thing. You know, a big, bouncy, rubber ball of a rebound thing. It's good.
Lorelai: But?
Sookie: But a rubber ball is a 28-year-old surfer or a jazz saxophonist who drives a V.W. bus or a really cute guy that can't even spell his last name. It's not the father of your only child. Christopher is not your rubber ball.
Lorelai: Okay.
Sookie: He's a big, heavy bowling ball.
Lorelai: I'm gonna tell him you said that.
Sookie: I just want you to be careful.

Luke: Razor blades? They've expressly forbidden razor blades?
Kirk: That's sound policy.
Luke: Are kids at this school showing up with razor blades? I mean, listen to this list of stuff they've had to ban. Drug use, bullying, graffiti, theft, spitting, fighting - including but not limited to punching, kicking, gouging, and biting. Seems to me like they're just giving the kids ideas. "Gee, I can't think of any other bad things to do today. Let me look at the manual. Hey, gouging sounds fun!"
Miss Patty: No one at that school is gouging anyone.
Luke: Well, sure. Why bother with that when they've got access to guns, tasers, knives, and nunchucks?
Kirk: Nunchucks are cool. And deadly.

Miss Patty: Look at that turnout. And the hips of Anna Pavlova. You must bring her to my ballet class.
Luke: Where ballerinas are maiming each other to be in The Nutcracker? Fat chance of that.

Paris: Dormitory renovations, that's quaint. I recently had the opportunity to be a fly on the wall at the Hartford Courant as the editor selected their lead story. It was down to the wire, and I was on the edge of my seat when at the last second, a local-corruption story broke. It was thrilling. It made this place look like a joke.
Rory: Your point, Paris?
Paris: Oh, I thought I was clear. Compared to the Courant, this place is a joke.

Rory: Go to your party, Paris. Be the couple whose divorce was so painful that it was memorialized in both literature and film. I'll be fine.

Lorelai: Oh, hello, Bullitt. Are you taking me on a car chase through the streets of San Francisco?
Christopher: It's cool, right?
Lorelai: It's really cool.

Richard: [on the phone] But I have to tell you, Emily, it's a whole new world from the one we remember.
Emily: But the jacket was still appropriate?
Richard: Oh, the jacket was fine. Although I must say, I felt wildly overdressed. Boys in undershirts and filthy baseball caps, the girls wearing pajamas and flip-flops.
Emily: Well, it's the style, Richard.
Richard: Well, it's most peculiar.
Emily: And you were firm with them? That's one thing that never changes. Young people respond to discipline. After all, you don't want your course to be known as a "gut." That's an easy class. I learned that term at dinner with the Sudburys, who learned it from their grandson, Paul.

Sookie: Ooh, it's so good! It's so chock-full of words like "chock-full." And even if Audrey Hepburn was 20 and Fred Astaire was, like, 80...
Christopher: He's still Fred Astaire.
Lorelai: I mean, he could really tap-dance. That was so nice, Chris. That was so romantic and fun and wonderful.
Christopher: S'wonderful?
Lorelai: S'marvelous.

Emily: Well, it's about time. Oh, good. I get to walk this filthy floor again. I don't need any help walking. Thank you! Oh, thank you for giving me things that already belong to me. Well, you can all be very proud of yourselves. You're doing a crack job. You finally got menace-to-society Emily Gilmore off the streets. You'll be hearing from my lawyer.

Lorelai: I mean, they escorted her out in her stocking feet.
Christopher: Her shoes in a bag.
Lorelai: Somewhere in my youth or childhood...
Christopher: you must have done something good.
Lorelai: The universe owed me this one.