Lorelai: Hey, Mom. Great party. One of your best. I even liked those brown mushroom things.
Rory: Grandma, can I talk to you for a sec?
Emily: Richard, the girls are leaving.
Richard: Well, Rory, I hope you had a good time.
Rory: Yeah, I did.
Richard: Now, I know your grandmother has already bought you a gift and signed my name to it. That was part of our agreement when we got married. However, I feel this occasion calls for something a little extra. Put that towards your trip to Fez.
Rory: Oh, Grandpa.
Richard: You're a good girl, Rory. Happy birthday.

Lorelai: Mom, come on. Give her a break. You invited all these Chilton kids without asking her.
Emily: They're her schoolmates. I assumed they were her friends.
Lorelai: You know what they say when people assume things.
Emily: No, what do they say?
Lorelai: That... you shouldn't.
Emily: Very clever.

Lorelai: Mom, she didn't want them here. She doesn't like them.
Emily: Well, I had to invite them. That's good manners, something your daughter is sorely lacking.
Lorelai: God, you're doing the same thing to her that you always did to me. You try to control her, and when that doesn't work you just shut her out.
Emily: I'm too tired for your accusations right now. Can we do this tomorrow?
Lorelai: I'm just-
Emily: Here, I'll find you a pen so you can write down your insults so that you won't forget them.

Emily: What do you want me to say? Everything's fine. It's forgotten. There. I'll see you next week.
Lorelai: So I guess the whole pudding thing was just a fluke, huh? Trying to get to know us, easing up on the rules smudging that bottom line of yours. It was just some weird phase. What, you were on cold medicine last week or something?
Emily: Oh, so I'm a villain now, is that it? I spent a fortune on this party. I spent days planning it, making sure every detail was perfect the food, the linen, the music. I did all this for Rory.
Lorelai: Well, that's not what she needed, Mom. What she needs is for you to accept her apology and come to her party. That's what she needs. You don't care what she needs.
Emily: How dare you?
Lorelai: You don't know what she needs 'cause you don't know her. You've never tried to know her, like you never knew me.
Emily: Oh, I know you.
Lorelai: Please, you don't know anything about me.
Emily: Oh, you'd like to think that, wouldn't you? That you're just some huge mystery to me ? "Why does Lorelai do that?" "I don't know. She's a mystery to me." Well, you're not so mysterious, Lorelai.
Lorelai: No, no. What am I then?
Emily: Well, right now you're very loud and disruptive to the entire cleaning process. For God's sake, what do I have to do to get you to put the damn cheese in individual bags?

Rory: I'll be back in plenty of time to help you decorate.
Lorelai: No, this is your party. You do not work. You mock those who are. Have I taught you nothing?

Rory: You're applying to Harvard?
Paris: Yes. Ten generations of Gellers have gone to Harvard. I have to go to Harvard.
Rory: I can't believe this.
Paris: You can go somewhere else. Go to Brandeis. Brandeis is nice.
Rory: I've only ever wanted to go to Harvard. That's it. Nowhere else. It's a big school.
Paris: I guess.
Rory: We'll probably never see each other.
Paris: You think?
Rory: [sighs] And if we do, we duck.

Miss Patty: I'm Patricia Lacosta. We just love your daughter and granddaughter.
Emily: Thank you.
Miss Patty: [to Richard] My God, you're a tall specimen of a man. Must be all that good air in Hartford.

Emily: What's this?
Lorelai: That's me, Mom.
Emily: I know it's you. You're wearing a cast.
Lorelai: Yeah. That's when I broke my leg.
Emily: You broke your leg?
Lorelai: Yeah, three years ago during a yoga class. The headstand portion took a very ugly turn. The good thing was that I brought the smug, blonde, pretzel chick down with me. I've since learned that I'm a bit too competitive for yoga.
Emily: I never knew you broke your leg.
Lorelai: It was no big deal, Mom. If I had been really sick you would have known.

Lorelai: So are you guys leaving? The mud wrestling starts in 10 minutes.
Emily: Good night, Lorelai. We had a lovely time.
Lorelai: And with a straight face you said that.
Richard: I'd have that chimney inspected if I were you.
Lorelai: I'll get right on that, Dad.
Richard: For Fez.
Rory: But grandpa, you already took care of Fez.
Richard: Fez is a very large city.

Rory: Paris?
Paris: My parents made me come.
Rory: Oh, God!
Paris: Otherwise I wouldn't be here. You believe me, don't you?