‘Red Light on the Wedding Night’
Season 2, Episode 3 - Aired October 16, 2001
As Lorelai's wedding day to Max approaches, Sookie throws her a surprise bachelorette party.
Quote from Lorelai
Max Medina: What fallout shelter have you guys been living in?
Rory: He has much knowledge.
Lorelai: We shall form a cult around him.
Rory: Build a statue many stories high.
Lane: Grow our hair long and stop bathing.
Max Medina: Please don't do any of that.
Quote from Lorelai
Rory: "Billy Jack, I'm gonna kill you if it's the last thing I do."
Lorelai: Oh, he so jinxed himself with that one.
Rory: Yeah, he should've said, "Billy Jack, I'm gonna kill you or buy myself a lovely chenille sweater."
Lorelai: Yeah, either way, he wins.
Quote from Lorelai
Max Medina: You guys talk through the whole movie and when I say something, you shush me.
Lorelai: That's because you're talking through parts we talked through last time. We haven't seen those parts in a while.
Max Medina: Now it's clear.
Quote from Lorelai
Max Medina: What? The phone?
Lorelai: Whoever's closest answers.
Rory: House rule.
Max Medina: You're both closer.
Lorelai: I'd have to walk farther, around the coffee table so my path's farther.
Rory: My foot's asleep.
Lorelai: Plus you're taller.
Rory: With longer legs.
Lorelai: Yes, so, even if we all left for the phone at the same time-
Max Medina: I got it.
Quote from Luke
Rory: Max is with us.
Luke: Max, huh? So when did Max become invisible to the human eye?
Lorelai: He's on a paper hunt.
Rory: Max likes his three papers in the morning. The Hartford Courant, The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal.
Luke: Three papers?
Lorelai: He likes to be well-informed.
Luke: Yeah, well, reading three papers all reporting the same news is a terrific use of trees.
Quote from Luke
Max Medina: I want you guys to go at your normal pace. My rhythm might not necessarily be your rhythm. What's this?
Luke: The lunch menu. I stop serving breakfast in an hour.
Lorelai: Luke.
Max Medina: I'll have poached eggs.
Lorelai: We'll have blueberry pancakes!
Rory: Did we make it?
Luke: I already set them aside.
Lorelai: Love you.
Quote from Lorelai
Lorelai: Traffic light, huh?
Luke: It's unbelievable.
Lorelai: Well, it could always be taken out with your bare hands or your teeth.
Luke: Yeah, I guess.
Quote from Luke
Taylor Doose: Does no one here care about the spate of near-accidents we have suffered over the past year?
Luke: Near-accidents, meaning they didn't happen.
Taylor Doose: Just because they didn't happen, doesn't mean we shouldn't ward against them.
Luke: There's lots of things don't happen that we don't ward against.
Taylor Doose: Like?
Luke: Like everything.
Taylor Doose: So that everything doesn't happen here, meaning nothing happens?
Luke: No, it's not nothing happens. Stuff happens. It's that it's... it's not everything that's... Damn it, Taylor!
Taylor Doose: Ha!
Quote from Lorelai
Lorelai: Babette, you're coming, right?
Babette: Doll, I'm sorry, I won't be able to make it.
Lorelai: Babette, no.
Babette: We're having Morey's parents over for dinner. If you cancel on them last minute they'll stick a red hot poker up your you-know-where.
Lorelai: Oh, well, we'll miss you.
Babette: Be sure to stick your hand down the front of some guy's pants for me.
Lorelai: I hope you're talking about a stripper.
Babette: Whatever.
Quote from Kirk
Taylor Doose: The length of the walk-signaI's duration has thoughtfully been timed to accommodate the pace of Stars Hollow's oldest living resident. So to inaugurate the signal, our beloved Mrs. Lanahan is going to push the button and lead the first historic group across the street. Ready with the camera, Kirk?
Kirk: Rolling.
Miss Patty: The cap is still on the lens, dear.
Kirk: Thanks.