Lorelai: My mother is great at getting someone to agree to something that in another universe they would never consider.
Rory: Mom.
Lorelai: I am still convinced she had something to do with Lily Tomlin doing that movie with John Travolta.

Lorelai: [on the phone] Now comes the reason for my phone call.
Christopher: All your regular 976 numbers were busy.
Lorelai: Now, I know this is totally not your thing but as you will remember, part of the coming-out process involves the girls being escorted around the dance floor by their dads.
Christopher: Ah.
Lorelai: Now, I know you would rather sit through Endless Love than ever be a part of this scene again but this is very important to your daughter, and she has never asked you for anything. And although no one's keeping track, it seems your constant non-presence in her life, and your lack of showing up when you say you're going to or calling when you say you're going to or basically doing anything when you say you are going to, would tend to indicate that you owe her big time. Now, before you say no, I want you to take a minute and remember you have a great daughter who needs you. And she has a mother who will hunt you down like a half-price Kate Spade purse if you disappoint her.

Rory: What is going on?
Lorelai: I don't know. I think George and Martha are joining us for dinner.

Rory: It's good, huh?
Dean: It's the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction.
Rory: Yes, and doesn't Neil Young look cool?
Dean: I guess.
Rory: If you'll notice, he's wearing a tux.
Dean: Neil Young looks cool because he's Neil Young, not because he's wearing a tux.

Richard: I understand that your social engagements are important.
Emily: They're not just social engagements.
Richard: Anything at which you serve tea is a social engagement.
Emily: That's it. I am going to get a tape recorder so you can hear how pompous and condescending you sound.
Richard: What- Emily-
Emily: No, I don't want you to take my word for it. I might be delirious from all that tea I've been drinking.

Rory: Maybe we should leave.
Lorelai: Are you kidding? We have dinner theater here.
Rory: But Grandma and Grandpa are in a fight.
Lorelai: Yeah.
Rory: One they obviously wouldn't want us to see it.
Lorelai: Hey, we stumbled in here completely innocently. We came for dinner, as usual, per their request. We didn't know we were walking into The Lion King without the puppet heads.

Sunny: Another new one, Emily?
Emily: Yes. The last one only made it through one evening. Thoroughly nervous creature.
Natalie: What do you do to them?
Emily: Oh, the usual. "Clean this, cook that... sacrifice a virgin on your way out."
Sunny: [laughs] The things you say.

Rory: I'm coming out.
Lorelai: Out of what?
Rory: Out into society.
Lorelai: What are you talking about?
Rory: I went to Grandma's house after school.
Lorelai: Right away, bad.
Rory: And, um her DAR friends are all there, they're talking about this Debutante Ball that's being thrown.
Lorelai: Oh, no.
Rory: And when I got back from Grandpa's office, they invited me onto the patio.
Lorelai: No, no, no. Tell me you did not go onto the patio.
Rory: I went onto the patio.
Lorelai: Oh, Rory, that's like accepting the position as the drummer in Spinal Tap.

Rory: No, if it's that important to her and not important to me, then why shouldn't I do it?
Lorelai: Rory, do you know what a coming-out party says?
Rory: It says, "I'm a woman now."
Lorelai: No, it says: "Hi, I'm Rory. I'm of good breeding and marriageable age. And I will now parade around in front of young men of similarly good breeding and marriageable age so they can take a good look at me."
Rory: You're exaggerating.
Lorelai: No, it's like animals being up for bid at the county fair except sheep don't wear hoop skirts.

Lorelai: [on the phone] I have some shocking news. Rory's coming out.
Christopher: Out of what?
Lorelai: Coming out: White dresses, gloves, curtsies.
Christopher: Stop it.
Lorelai: I swear to God.
Christopher: I can't believe you're letting her do it?
Lorelai: Well, I wasn't about to let her use my method of getting out of it.
Christopher: This is crazy.
Lorelai: She's doing it as a favor to my mom. There's no talking her out of it.
Christopher: Did you tell her about Barbara Hutton, Doris Duke, Lori Vanderbilt?
Lorelai: Yes, and she's perfectly willing to marry Cary Grant, get offed by her crazy butler, and start designing blue jeans as soon as the ball ends.