Lorelai: What's this?
Richard: Don't touch that!
Rory: He slapped my hand earlier.
Emily: It is top secret.
Lorelai: Oh, my God. It's the weapons of mass destruction. Quick, get the president on the phone.
Richard: Lorelai.
Lorelai: If he's not in the oval office, try the ice-cream room.

Kirk: I have a theory, Taylor.
Taylor Doose: Let's hear it.
Kirk: Our usual town troubadour, he was discovered last week on these very streets.
Taylor Doose: Discovered?
Kirk: Some big-time music manager was limo-ing through town, and he caught one of the troubadour's songs, gave him an opening slot on Neil Young's tour.
Taylor Doose: Who's Neil Young?
Kirk: One of the Monkees. Anyway, I'm guessing when word hit the east coast troubadour community, every one of them thought to come to Stars Hollow for their shot at the big time.
Taylor Doose: There's an east coast troubadour community?
Kirk: Oh, yes, our wandering musical storytellers. It's an honored American tradition going back to the puritans. Gierke Schoonhoven delighted his fellow pilgrims with his timely songs. His most popular was "A Beaver Ate my Thumb." It was quite catchy. I wonder if Neil still does "Last Train to Clarksville." I love that song.

Miss Patty: Well, uh, I-I don't know. You know, half the time people speak to me, I'm thinking about Baryshnikov. Did you see Turning Point?
Luke: No.
Miss Patty: Oh, that man was so beautiful.
Luke: Yeah, I'm sure.
Miss Patty: Pure sex walking. Flying, actually. That man could fly. Have you ever thought of taking dance?
Luke: Me? No.
Miss Patty: Well, maybe you might want to think about it. There's nothing sexier than a man in tights.
Luke: Yeah, I'm sure that's true.
Luke: Look, can you just tell Lorelai I came by?
Miss Patty: Oh, of course I will, honey.
Luke: Thanks. Stop imagining me in tights, Patty.
Miss Patty: It's a free country, honey.

Emily: We're adding it to the money we're donating in Rory's name.
Rory: Oh, goody. They didn't forget.
Emily: And with that extra money, we can now afford what is on the table right in front of you. Richard, do the honors.
Richard: All right. Miss Rory Gilmore, may I present your building.
Rory: [gasps] What?!
Emily: Your science building.
Richard: On the Q.T., a friend of mine who knows the architect snagged the model for me. It's a beauty, isn't it? Built perfectly to scale.
Emily: Very sleek. And there's plenty of wall space inside for a portrait.
Rory: Of who?
Lorelai: Of you.
Richard: And look right here. My friend attached a placard to the front of the building.
Lorelai: "The Rory Gilmore Astronomy Building".
Rory: Um, Grandpa.
Emily: They're going to start construction this summer, so it should be up and running by Christmas.

Rory: [answers phone] You're grounded.
Lorelai: Ha. Sorry, Mom. Kimmy saw this guy at the mall who was a total Chachi, and he bought us a slurpee, and we totally lost track of time.
Rory: I called you twice. I left messages. I called the National Guard, who didn't answer because they're all in Baghdad.
Lorelai: Well, I just checked my messages.
Rory: I won't be ignored, Dan.
Lorelai: I know. I'm hiding my rabbit as we speak.

Lorelai: Do you want some coffee, Patty?
Miss Patty: Oh, no, sweetheart. I need to get going. I'm teaching a cardio striptease class at 10:00. I have to make sure those poles are screwed in tight.

Miss Patty: Oh, and, honey, don't freeze him out too long. Luke is a much better man than my first husband or second husband. But he's neck and neck with the third one, though.
Lorelai: Okay.
Miss Patty: Bye, Paul Anka. Thank you for letting me scratch your butt for an hour. Just like husband number four.

Emily: Just tell them what it is, Richard.
Richard: Well, it looks like we're going to receive a tidy little settlement from the charlatan that botched your mother's eye surgery.
Emily: A very tidy settlement.
Richard: And we've decided to add it to the money we're donating to Yale.
Lorelai: Oh, thank God. Finally a hot meal for the lacrosse team.

Rory: Is this the actual lettering? I mean, is this the scale?
Richard: I don't know. Although the style is very dignified.
Emily: I'm sure we can request this lettering if you like.
Richard: It's your building, so why not?
Rory: Because the lettering would be 30 feet high.
Lorelai: Well, honey, it's the astronomy building. You have to be able to see it from space.
Richard: I don't know whether it's to scale.
Rory: Is there someone we can call to check?
Emily: Relax, Rory. She's so modest.
Lorelai: Relax, Rory. Remember when you wanted a personalized license plate? So much better.

Emily: We promised Christopher a homecooked meal last time we saw him, and since we're leaving for Europe for the next two months, this was the last chance we had to make good on that promise.
Richard: You can call a Gilmore many things, but you can't call him a welsher.
Lorelai: What are the things you can call him, just for future reference?