Rory: Hey, my mom's not wearing any underwear. Well, you aren't.

Luke: No tip?
Lorelai: Yeah, here's a tip: Serve your customers.
Luke: Here's another: Don't sit on any cold benches.

Rory: Lane? Lane?
Lane: What's wrong?
Rory: I got kissed. And I shoplifted.

Rory: Oh, my God, I can't breathe.
Lane: Okay, sit down.
Rory: No, I can't sit down. I'm too... Oh, my God, he kissed me.
Mrs. Kim: Who kissed you?
Lane: The Lord, Mama.
Mrs. Kim: Oh. Okay, then.

Lane: So, tell me everything.
Rory: So, I go into the store, and he offers me a soda. Ad then he puts two behind his back and asks me to pick one, and he kissed me.
Lane: I'm so jealous. That's it, I've got to get some dumb, ugly friends.
Rory: I have to go tell my mom.
Lane: Call me later.
Rory: Okay.
Lane: What's wrong?
Rory: I can't.
Lane: You mean you can't leave? It's sing your favorite hymn night at the Kim house. Make a run for it.

Rory: My mom doesn't know about Dean.
Lane: So tell her.
Rory: The last time the subject of boys came up, it got very ugly.
Lane: Well, that was different. She thought you wanted to quit school over a guy.
Rory: Yes, over Dean.
Lane: Okay, fine. But she doesn't have to know it was him.
Rory: She'll know.
Lane: How?
Rory: She'll know. She's Lorelai. She'll know.

Mrs. Kim: This is not a storage facility.
Lorelai: I know. I'm sorry.
Mrs. Kim: This is a furniture store. Furniture comes in, people buy, then it goes out.
Lorelai: Right.
Mrs. Kim: Except when Lorelai Gilmore buys. Then furniture stays here for six weeks.
Lorelai: How about I pay you extra?
Mrs. Kim: I don't want you to pay extra. I want you to pick up the thing you paid for in the first place. Here.
Lorelai: Huh. I remember it smaller.
Mrs. Kim: It's been six weeks. Maybe it grew.

Lorelai: Right. Once again, I'm really sorry. I've just been very busy.
Mrs. Kim: Maybe you should be less busy. Then you can remember to pick up chairs.
Lorelai: Right. Absolutely. Smell a rose, got it.
Mrs. Kim: And then you could keep your daughter from running around kissing boys.
Lorelai: What?
Mrs. Kim: Lane is a young, impressionable girl. She doesn't need to hear about your daughter's kissing.
Lorelai: Are the lids tight on the paint remover? Because you're sounding loopy to me.
Mrs. Kim: Loopy? What's loopy?
Lorelai: Rory's not kissing anybody.
Mrs. Kim: Yes, she is. She came in here and told Lane she kissed a boy in the grocery store. The grocery store, where we buy our food.
Lorelai: This does not make any- She kissed the boy in the grocery store?
Mrs. Kim: Yes, yes, yes. The boy in the grocery store. Kiss, kiss, kiss.
Lorelai: I'm sorry. I didn't know. [sighs] She didn't tell me. I have to go.
Mrs. Kim: [sighs] You left your chair!

Miss Patty: Luke, the food here is lovely. But you know what would make it better?
Luke: Let me guess. Some Autumn Festival decorations?
Miss Patty: Well, food without ambiance isn't really food, is it?

Luke: Coffee? [Lorelai is silent] [sighs] Oh, come on, are you mad at me, too? I mean, a man can't choose whether he wants a picture of a fat, stupid bird on his wall? My God, that's the reason the damn Pilgrims came here in the first place.
Lorelai: Luke, I wasn't snubbing you. I didn't hear you. And now I'm concerned about you.
Luke: Sorry, just feeling a little persecuted lately.