Michel: Fill me in, please.
Lorelai: Jackson brought pea tendrils instead of Brussels sprouts.
Michel: Well, aren't we Evil Knievel?
Lorelai: Coffee?
Michel: Oh, please.

Sookie: Jackson's taken a lot of courses through The Learning Center and he loves it. He took beekeeping...
Lorelai: Jackson keeps bees?
Sookie: No, it turned out he was allergic. One stung his lip and his whole head blew up to three times his normal size.
Michel: Please tell me you have pictures.
Sookie: He also took a course in how to buy foreclosed real estate, and how to write a diary.
Lorelai: How do you not know how to write a diary?
Sookie: He's a searcher.
Lorelai: Yes, he is.
Sookie: Plus, I think he was really lonely before we got together and he didn't live near a good bar.

Rory: You can't set up in the cafeteria. It's a fire hazard.
Paris: It is?
Rory: Yes, it's a fire hazard. You'll have to find another place.
Francie: You're kidding.
Rory: I never kid about fire safety.
Francie: Rory, I actually know the fire codes for the cafeteria, and as long as we don't cram more than three hundred people in there, we can start an opium den and the fire department wouldn't care.
Rory: A, Francie, I think they would care, and B, I'm not talking about numbers. You set up that table, get people thinking about blood, someone smells smoke, and the next thing you know, fifty stampeding teenagers are using your body to lever open a door. I won't allow that.

Lorelai: Pick a color.
Sookie: Pink!
Lorelai: ‘Cause you're a girl.
Sookie: Exactly.
Lorelai: P–i–n–k. Pick a number.
Sookie: Five.
Lorelai: You will marry Shaun Cassidy and cheat with David.
Sookie: Well, good for me.

Sookie: Unbelievably shocking.
Lorelai: That we could work at an inn for so long and learn so little.
Sookie: We must be some kind of dumb.
Lorelai: Who would ever have thought that all inns need doors?
Sookie: Not me.
Lorelai: And floors.
Sookie: Doors and floors, we can't afford that.
Lorelai: Well, we better, otherwise our guests will fall right through to China.
Sookie: I can just imagine the phone calls.

Lorelai: Thank God – food.
Sookie: So, is it worth it if we can make up our seventy-five dollar admission fee in cookies?
Lorelai: Well, considering that in the past hour, I uttered the phrase, "My God, I should've listened to Michel," these better be the best damn cookies in the world.
Sookie: And they taste like feet.
Lorelai: Oh, well, even their cookies suck. Stand by, I'm going in for coffee.

Lorelai: Oh, little tip, don't choose anything cute.
Sookie: Like Jitters.
Lorelai: Or Spill the Beans.
Sookie: Or Higher Ground.
Lorelai: Or The Mudhouse.

Lorelai: Sookie, it's a misunderstanding. Jackson will be fine. Just go in there and explain it to Joe.
Sookie: But what do I tell him? He's waited ten years for this. How do you hand out that kind of rejection? I could tell him I've become a lesbian!
Lorelai: Yeah, or "I'm married" might work.
Sookie: Right, I'm married, good, that's very good.

Lorelai: Where you going?
Luke: Oh, well, I'm going to Doose's because we are out of food.
Lorelai: How can you be out of food?
Luke: Well, it starts with the words, "Hey Jess, you do the ordering this week, okay?" and it ends with me selling Kirk a lettuce sandwich.
Rory: We've eaten those.

Luke: I'm gonna go pick up some stuff to hold us over ‘til tomorrow.
Lorelai: Well, get some burgers.
Rory: And tater tots.
Lorelai: And pickles.
Luke: Okay, hold on a sec. Burgers, tater tots, pickles. You want cheese on the burger?
Lorelai: Cheddar.
Rory: And swiss.
Luke: Dessert?
Lorelai: Do we have to decide right now?
Luke: I would seriously advise it.
Lorelai: Pie.
Rory: Cherry.
Lorelai: And whipped cream. And dental floss. And paper towels. And People magazine. We're really hungry.