Louise: You'd think the brain trust behind P.E. could come up with some sport that didn't give you helmet hair all afternoon.
Madeline: Like badminton.
Louise: Or striptease aerobics.
Rory: What?
Madeline: It's really big in L.A. You just go through the motions, you don't actually have to strip.
Rory: Do the other people in the gym throw money at you?
Louise: Fine, mock, but tell me this, have you ever seen an overweight stripper?
Rory: The word no seems so wildly inadequate all of a sudden.

Rory: Doesn't it seem strange to be practicing a sport whose original purpose was to kill people? It's like if high schools of the future had teams in artillery or high altitude bombing or something.

Rory: I still can't believe it. I can't believe I got sucked in like that.
Lorelai: Ugh, that Francie is pure evil, so she'll probably wind up president.
Rory: Paris is so upset. She totally thinks I betrayed her.
Lorelai: She'll calm down.
Rory: Paris has never calmed down.
Lorelai: She'll calm down.
Rory: I can't believe I was her best friend. I feel awful.
Lorelai: Look, I'll tell you what. If you wanna make things right, just go back to school tomorrow and let her stab you.
Rory: Great idea.
Lorelai: I'm nothing if not full of suggestions.
Rory: Or full of something.

Lorelai: Do you want me to talk to her? You know, arrange a sit-down?
Rory: No, thanks.
Lorelai: Come on. We'll have it in an Italian restaurant. You'll get up, go to the bathroom – thanks – and come out shooting, and then I'll send you to Italy.
Rory: Well, I do wanna go to Italy.
Lorelai: Two birds with one stone, my friend.

Sookie: I just flirted accidentally!
Jackson: Turn it off.
Sookie: Let me explain.
Jackson: Every time I hear it now, it'll remind me that my wife cheated on me.
Sookie: Flirted – accidentally!
Jackson: You ruined Creedence for me!