Rory: [on the phone] I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I don't know where anybody is. I can't walk in these shoes. I got a run in my pantyhose. I ran into a file cabinet.
Logan: Slow down.
Rory: I didn't even know if I was supposed to go to lunch when everybody went to lunch, so I just stood in the break room for, like, forty-five minutes. And then I ate an Altoid.

Lorelai: Oh my God, this smells good. What is this?
Luke: It's nothing. Just some soft-shelled crab amandine on a bed of wild rice.
Lorelai: Okay. There is no sentence in the English language that begins, "it's nothing", and contains the word amandine.

Richard: [on the phone] I'll have my secretary fax the contact information to your home fax tonight and you can call him in the morning.
Lorelai: Dad, I don't have a home fax.
Richard: I don't see how you can do business on this level and not have a home fax.
Lorelai: Yeah, we're all confounded by that, yes.
Richard: Call my office in the morning. I'm quite proud of you, Lorelai.
Lorelai: Thanks, Dad.

Emily: Do you know what these are?
Beatrice: Lilies.
Emily: Fragrant lilies. Would you like to eat dinner with fragrant lilies in the room?
Beatrice: Yes.
Emily: Well, then you're insane! I don't know how you think my guests are supposed to enjoy their dinner with this floral reek wafting up their noses! Move them to the living room and bring the peonies in here.
Beatrice: Yes, ma'am. Sorry, ma'am.

Richard: Maybe it's time for us, Emily.
Emily: Time for what?
Richard: Time to acquire an acreage. A compound for the extended family.
Emily: A place on Cape Cod.
Richard: Our own Kennebunkport. Get it all ready for the next generation.
Emily: The Cape's as good as the Vineyard for a wedding.
Richard: Or some would say better.
Emily: Sandier beaches, too. Children love sandy beaches. Just love running and playing on them.

Rory: You know, you're not obligated to be polite until we're actually inside my grandparents' house.
Logan: Good. Allow me to use these brief moments of time to make disgusting noises with my armpits.
Rory: Oh, would you? So, this is going to be quick and painless. Believe me, my grandparents like you better than they liked Ronald Reagan.
Logan: Wow. High praise.

Logan: So what about your mom? She going to be cool?
Rory: Of course she'll be cool. She's the essence of cool. Cool's her street name. She's got it monogrammed on her towels and everything.
Logan: Well, if she's got it monogrammed on her towels, there's nothing to worry about.

Emily: Isn't this a fine jacket, Richard?
Richard: Oh, I like how the lapels are cut. Aren't those nice lapels, Rory?
Rory: Uh, sure, Grandpa. His lapels look great.
Richard: Most modern tailors cut lapels too low. It's so sloppy, having one's lapels hang down around the chest like a basset hound's ears or something.
Emily: But those are excellent.
Richard: Oh, they really are.

Emily: Logan, what would you like?
Logan: McKellen neat, if you have it.
Emily: Oh, I adore a man who drinks his scotch neat.
Richard: That is a fine drink indeed.
Emily: Rory?
Rory: Just club soda.
Emily: So demure. Isn't she demure?
Logan: The demurest.

Lorelai: Uh, fill me in here. What's a Kropog?
Logan: Years ago, someone at Yale started measuring things based on the height of a kid named Kropog.
Richard: I can't believe that today's Elis are still using Kropogs. Now that is really something. Maxwell T. Kropog was his name, class of forty-four. Oh, Lorelai, I'm sorry. I forgot your drink. I made it and everything.
Lorelai: Well, you remembered now.
Emily: No, Richard, stay, I'll get it.
Richard: I'm glad to hear that Kropog is still part of the Yale vernacular. Tradition is so important.
Rory: Why don't we talk about something other than Yale?
Emily: Nonsense, there's nothing better to talk about than Yale. Because Yale men are the greatest. I dated a few Princeton men and a Harvard man back in my day, and they had nothing on Yale men.
Richard: They'd better not.