Lorelai: Um, what are you doing?
Michel: Hiding.
Lorelai: From me?
Michel: No.
Lorelai: From?
Michel: Suffice to say, my hiding is not costing the inn any income. In fact, I'm overdue for my 10. So consider this my 10, and you are now conducting business with an employee who is officially on his 10, which is in direct violation of union rules.
Lorelai: You're not in a union.
Michel: I'm in a union of oppressed Frenchmen.
Lorelai: Oh, the U.O.F. Got it. All right. Carry on.

Rory: [on the phone] I was at the corner of Bark and Cheese today.
Lorelai: Bark and Cheese? Really?
Rory: And it's exactly the same.
Lorelai: Exactly the same? Was there a tiny, little Italian dog in a basket barking the whole time you were there?
Rory: Not this time, but I definitely had flashbacks.
Lorelai: And did you have a nice piece of cheese with your coffee?
Rory: I still say I said the correct word for "cream" in Italian. I even pointed at my coffee when I asked for it. How could I be asking for cheese?
Lorelai: But cheese you were brought.
Rory: Stinky cheese. The worst, don't forget.
Lorelai: That you proceeded to eat.
Rory: Because I hate people who make mistakes when they order, especially in a foreign country, and then make a big to-do when they get the wrong thing. Ugly Americans. Yuck.
Lorelai: Aha! You admit it was a mistake. You did say "cheese."
Rory: I know French, a bit of Spanish, but my Italian, not so good.
Lorelai: Being trilingual is plenty for a young lady.

Michel: It is not my job to entertain little people.

Lorelai: Hey, I should bring steak sauce, right?
Rory: For what?
Lorelai: Pizza.
Rory: I just got back from Italy.
Lorelai: So?
Rory: So they'd shoot you in Italy for that.
Lorelai: Ah, but this is America, where we unapologetically bastardize other countries' cultures in a gross quest for moral and military supremacy.
Rory: I forgot. Bring on the imperialistic condiments.

Rory: Let me show you one thing before Showgirls, okay?
Lorelai: What?
Rory: Home movies from my trip with Grandma.
Lorelai: You have home movies?
Rory: She was in fine form.
[A Room with a View (1985) plays on the TV]
Lorelai: She gets very British when she's abroad.

Emily: It's different.
Luciano: Something is different?
Emily: The view, it's different.
Rory: Wow. It's pretty spectacular.
Emily: It's not the same.
Luciano: It's the same room you had two years ago, Signora. 518.
Emily: The ruins, they used to be closer. Something move?
Luciano: I don't think so.
Emily: That pillar is in a different place.
Rory: I think the ruins are probably where they've been for the past 2,000 years, Grandma.

Emily: We'll need to book some private tours. The Vatican, the Villa Medici... And private, just the two of us. The concierge in Florence stuck us with a Belgian couple at the Uffizi who didn't know a fresco from a ferret hole.

Michel: Who wants to play some insipid board game with me?

Lorelai: [answers phone] Hello?
Emily: [shouts] Lorelai, it's your mother!
Rory: Hi, Mom.
Emily: I'm calling from Rome!
Lorelai: The line is crystal clear. You don't have to yell.
Emily: Sorry, I still think transcontinental calls are a bigger deal than they are.

Lorelai: I'm not doing your jobs.
Sookie: Two weeks ago, I come in, and my refrigerator, which is sorted by a system that I have honed for 10 straight years, is completely rearranged. The beets are on the top. And the vegetables are on the bottom. It's Apocalypse Now, baby! I yelled at the staff, but now I know. It was you.
Lorelai: It was messy.
Sookie: It was my messy. I couldn't find anything in there for days. I kept reaching in for strawberries and coming up with liver, that's not pleasant.
Lorelai: I promise not to touch the fridge again.