Phoebe: Um, I just think that you don't expect someone so hot to be so sweet.
Interviewer: Oh. I like that. What's your name?
Phoebe: Phoebe Buffay.
Interviewer: How do you spell that, so we can get it right?
Phoebe: Okay. It's P as in Phoebe. H as in Heebie. O as in Obie. E as in Ebie. B as in Beebee. And E as in, "'ello there, mate!"

Joey: In my spare time, I read to the blind. And I'm also a mento for kids.
Interviewer: A mento?
Joey: You know, a mento. A role model.
Interviewer: A mento?
Joey: Right.
Interviewer: Like the candy?
Joey: As a matter of fact, I do.

Rachel: Hi. So I'm doing the "Soap Opera Digest" crossword puzzle and guess who is the clue for three down?
Joey: Three down. "Days of Our Lives" star, blank Tribbiani." That's me. I'm blank.

Interviewer: So now back to the show. How does it feel to have a huge gay fan base?
Joey: Really? Me? Wow, I don't even know any huge gay people.
Chandler: It hurts me. It physically hurts me.

Interviewer: I think it's great that you wanted to meet here. You know, when people hear the magazine's paying for it, they want to go to a big, fancy restaurant.
Joey: Actually, I didn't know the magazine was paying. Wouldn't have mattered. I'm doing this for the fans, not the free food.
Gunther: Can I get you anything?
Interviewer: I'll have a cup of coffee.
Joey: And I'll have all the muffins.

Monica: Joey, you're doing great.
Ross: Yeah. So far, nothing stupid.
Chandler: Mento?
Joey: No, thanks.

Ross: Wow. This picture of you sure is steamy.
Joey: Oh, yeah. That's just a little something for my huge gay fan base.
Ross: Did you just wink at me?
Joey: Hey, you're the one who loves the picture.

Phoebe: I'm going to get some coffee. Anyone want anything?
Rachel: Yeah. I'd love a blueberry muffin and chamomile tea.
Ross: Double latte, extra foam.
Chandler: A bagel with only-
Phoebe: I was just being polite.

Rachel: Hi, I'm gal pal Rachel Green. If you want the dirt, I'm the one you come to. This might be Joey's baby, who knows? I'm just kidding. Seriously, gal pal Rachel Green.
Ross: Who just lost the respect of her unborn child.

Monica: How cool is this. We know three down. I'm touching three down.
Joey: Yeah, you are, baby.
Monica: Three down knows I'm married. What's three down doing?