‘The One That Could Have Been (Part 1)’
Season 6, Episode 15 - Aired February 17, 2000
The gang ponders what might have been if Ross and Carol had stayed together, Monica was still heavy, Chandler had become a struggling writer, Joey still worked on Days of our Lives, Rachel had married Barry, and Phoebe had taken a job as a stockbroker.
Quote from Monica
Chandler: Who sold a story to "Archie Comics"?
Monica: Oh, my God, that's so great. Oh, wow. You're a published writer. I wish I had a present for you. Wait a minute. My last Kit Kat bar. [Chandler tries to take the bar, but Monica won't let go]
Chandler: You want to share it?
Monica: Okay.
Quote from Rachel
Rachel: Okay, Monica, I have to ask. Joey Tribbiani invited me back to his apartment. Now, does he do this with a lot of girls?
Monica: Yeah, a lot. A lot, a lot.
Rachel: Ah! [claps] And I'm one of them.
Quote from Monica
Rachel: Well, you're not married. It's easy for you. You can have sex with whoever you want.
Monica: Yeah, I can. I mean, don't think I don't. Because I do. I mean, all the time. You bet.
Rachel: Monica? You've done it, right?
Monica: Of course I have. What do you think, I'm like some 30-year-old virgin?
Rachel: Oh, my God. You're a 30-year-old virgin.
Monica: Say it louder. I don't think the guy all the way in the back heard you.
Guy: Yeah, I heard it.
Quote from Ross
Phoebe: Was it my work? Were they mad? Was it Jack? Did he yell?
Ross: No, just relax. Nobody yelled. Jack just was calling to make sure you were getting better.
Phoebe: Thank God.
Ross: Yeah, she's fired.
Quote from Joey
Monica: Maybe Joey doesn't have to give you any money. I mean, TV stars have assistants, right?
Joey: That's an idea. If I hire an assistant, would you take money from her?
Monica: No, Joey. Chandler could be your assistant.
Quote from Joey
Joey: Welcome aboard. Hey, I need to use the bathroom. Since I don't need assistance in there, take a break.
Quote from Monica
Chandler: "Drop off my dry cleaning. Pick up my vitamins. Teach me how to spell vitamins. Wear in my new jeans."
Monica: You realize what you are, don't you?
Chandler: What?
Monica: You're his bitch.