Phoebe: [playing guitar and singing] Went to the store, Sat on Santa's lap, Asked him to bring my friends, All kinds of crap, Said all you need is, To write them a song, Now you haven't heard it yet, So don't try to sing along, No, don't sing along, Monica, Monica Have a happy Hannukah, Saw Santa Claus, He said hello to Ross, And please tell Joey, Christmas will be snowy, And Rachel and Chandler, [indistinct] Happy holidays, everybody!

Ross: I'm the Holiday Armadillo! I'm a friend of Santa's and he sent me here to wish you a merry Christmas.
Monica: What happened to Santa, Holiday Armadillo?
Ross: Santa was unavailable so close to Christmas.
Monica: Well, come in, have a seat. You must be exhausted, coming all the way from Texas.
Ben: Texas?
Ross: That's right, Ben. I'm Santa's representative for all the Southern states. And Mexico!

Chandler: I don't think of her that way. I mean, she's a colleague.
Monica: What does she do there?
Chandler: She's regional vice president. She's just below me.
Monica: She did what?
Chandler: Below me.

Chandler: We have all this paperwork that needs to be filed by the end of the year. If I don't get it done, I'll be fired.
Monica: It's so unfair. You don't even like your job.
Chandler: So. Who does?
Phoebe: Oh, I like my job.
Joey: I love my job.
Rachel: I can't wait to go back to work.
Ross: I can't get enough dinosaurs.

Phoebe: He sprang to his sleigh, To his team gave a whistle, And away they all flew, Like the down of a thistle, But I heard him exclaim, Ere he drove out of sight, "Merry Christmas to all And to all a good night."
Joey: Wow. That was great. You really wrote that?
Phoebe: Uh-huh.