Niles: So, now you've met the whole Crane clan.
Clive: Although, Daphne, I noticed in the phone book your surname still is Moon.
Niles: Oh, that must be an old book. Now she hyphenates. It's Moon-Crane.
Martin: I remember the first time I ever drove a moon crane. Damn near rolled it into the Sea of Tranquility.

Clive: So, Daphne tells me that you two are both psychiatrists.
Frasier: Yes.
Clive: Fascinating. Are you a psychiatrist as well, Marty?
Martin: Me? No, I'm retired.
Clive: And what'd you do?
Martin: I was an astronaut.
[Niles and Daphne sit down in shock]

Martin: So there I was, floating 20 feet up in the chamber, when some idiot turns off the weightless button and down I come on this big pickaxe we used for moon rocks.
Clive: And you still walk with a cane.
Martin: Que Sera Sera. Well, I better turn in, boys.
Frasier: Don't forget your warm glass of Tang.

Frasier: Niles, what are you doing?
Niles: This fruit-nut muffin contains a number of things I don't care for. Currants, a husk of something... Away, wrinkly thing.
Frasier: You know, if you and Maris ever reconcile, I'm gonna miss these tranquil mornings. I reading my newspaper, you tweezing your muffin!

Martin: What's going on here?
Frasier: Clive is Daphne's old boyfriend. She's trying to let him down easily, by pretending to be married to Niles.
Niles: So this is my place and Frasier's staying here temporarily because he's separated from Maris.
Martin: [to Frasier] You couldn't stand her either, huh?

Clive: You actually flew space missions?
Martin: Yeah, a few. Me and Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin. You know, it was me that gave him his nickname "Buzz," You know, most people think it's 'cause he flew fast. Not true. He was scared of bees.

[The doorbell rings. Daphne and Niles stand up in shock. Frasier gets up to answer the door.]
Frasier: Wh-Who is it?
Roz: [o.s.] Open up, Frasier, it's me.
Martin: What do you know, it's Maris!

Frasier: Clive. Coffee?
Clive: No, thank you. I really should be going.
Daphne: No, no, please. I know what you must think, but we're not what we seem.
Clive: You certainly aren't. Look, I know I'm a guest here, so I've kept silent so far. But I'm sorry, I must speak: you're the most appalling family I've ever met. You, breaking up with your wife over a pair of opera glasses. And you, looking down your nose at me the entire time you were showing off your "posh flat." Well, for your information, mate, I don't think there's anything remotely special about your bathrooms. And you two women, flirting shamelessly with me right in front of your husbands. You having just reconciled with Frasier, and you carrying Niles' baby. Well, I pity your child, Daphne. And I pity any good Manchester girl that comes here to this vile coffee-swilling Sodom and lets it change her like it's changed you.
Daphne: But I haven't changed. Really, we're not the awful people you think we are.
Frasier: No, the truth is we've been lying to you all night!
Daphne: Yes!
Clive: Well, I don't care to be lied to anymore. Goodbye Daphne, Maris, Dr. Crane, Dr. Crane. I'll never understand how two men like you could have been spawned from that sweet, courageous old astronaut.

Frasier: Oh, hello. You must be Clive.
Clive: Yeah, and you are?
Frasier: Dr. Frasier Crane.
Clive: Oh, Niles's brother.
Frasier: Yes. You met Niles?
Clive: Just now. Though I used to know his wife quite well.
Frasier: Really, you know his wife?
Clive: She's one of a kind, that one.
Frasier: Isn't she? [laughs]
Clive: Certainly can light up a room.
Frasier: Oh, yes, usually by leaving it.

Frasier: Speaking of old chums, Daphne, a Clive called for you a little earlier.
Daphne: Clive? Did he sound British?
Frasier: No, he was one of those fiery Mexican Clives.