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The Two Mrs. Cranes

‘The Two Mrs. Cranes’

Season 4, Episode 1 -  Aired September 17, 1996

When Daphne's ex-fiance comes to Seattle, she tries to avoid breaking his heart again by pretending to be married to Niles.

Quote from Martin

[Eddie runs into the room]
Clive: Hello there. What's his name?
[Martin, Daphne, Niles and Frasier all share a blank expression]
All: ... Eddie.


Quote from Daphne

Daphne: Would you please tell Roz to stop flirting. Has she forgotten she is a married woman?
Frasier: Oh, you're one to talk. If you batted your eyelashes any harder, you'd blow out the candles.
Daphne: You get rid of her now, or it's Rattlesnake Ridge for you.
Frasier: You wouldn't!
Daphne: Oh, wouldn't I? And by the way, Stinky needs a ride. [Frasier gasps]

Quote from Daphne

Roz: And according to your love lines. Oh, my, what a naughty little-
Frasier: Maris, I don't know about you, but I'm exhausted.
Roz: See you at home. More wine, please.
Daphne: Oh, are you sure that's wise, dear? Remember that blackout you had last month? [laughs] What am I saying? Of course you don't.

Quote from Daphne

Niles: That's what I love about her, her sense of humor. Cookie, darling?
Daphne: Oh, no, thank you. Some of us do look after our weight.
Roz: Now, now, Daphne. You have to keep your strength up. You are eating for two.
Clive: You're having a baby?! Well, when you were planning on springing that news?
Daphne: We don't like to bring that up. It's a sore point around here, what with my sister-in-law being barren and all.
Niles: Now, now, it's not her fault. You see, my brother is impotent.

Quote from Niles

Clive: Is there a loo I could, er...
Niles: Yes. Yes, right there by the front door. We call that "Frasier's Bathroom." That's why we've monogrammed all the towels with his initials.

Quote from Roz

Frasier: Have you all taken leave of your senses?
Daphne: She started it, hanging all over him.
Roz: What is your problem? Frasier said the only reason we're doing this is because you wanted to give him the brush-off.
Daphne: Well, I changed me mind. Didn't you see my signals?
Roz: Gee, I missed them. It must have been in the middle of one my blackouts!

Quote from Niles

Niles: Wait, wait, wait. There's no need to fight. I'll flip a coin. ... Oh, good news, Roz!
Roz: Hooray!
Daphne: Oh, sod off!

Quote from Frasier

Daphne: You'd think with all your dozens and dozens of men, you could at least leave one for me.
Roz: Dozens? Did you tell her that?
Frasier: Well, forgive me for keeping track.

Quote from Daphne

Niles: Why are you fighting over that man anyway? He's got all the charm of a cricket bat!
Roz: You're right. You know what, Daphne? You can have him. You can have him, he's yours!
Daphne: Oh, fat chance I've got, now that you've told him I'm pregnant! How am I supposed to get rid of this bloody baby?!

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