Frasier: Oh, boy. Just look at the two of you face to face. I imagine wild animals all over the Northwest are lifting their heads, alerted to the scent. Good-bye, Roz.
Roz: Well, if you need any company, give me a call. Here's my number.
Sam: Well, thanks. That's a snazzy card.
Frasier: Yes, it glows in the dark.
Roz: So do I.

Martin: Hey, Daph, Sam was a major league ballplayer. Put out the good china.
Niles: Oh, yes, and while you're at it don't forget the Limoges spittoon.

Sam: This is strange. I gotta tell you, I didn't know he had a brother.
Niles: Frasier, I don't mind telling you I'm a little offended that in all the time you spent swapping bon mots with the beer-nut set, you never once mentioned you had a brother?!
Sam: Well, you know, the truth is, I bet he said something. It's just that when Frasier gets going you kind of have to tune him out.
Niles: That's a good slogan for his radio show. "Dr. Frasier Crane: when he gets going, you have to tune him out."

Martin: Hey, what did he tell you about me, Sam? His father, the old cop?
Sam: Oh, yeah, you I remember. Um, he told me you were dead.
Martin: Dead?!
Frasier: Well, we had had an argument. You called me a stuffed shirt and hung up on me. I was mad.
Sam: You're a cop? [to Frasier] You told me he was a research scientist.
Frasier: [to Martin] You were dead, what did it matter?

Niles: Is it my imagination, or is Sam flirting with Daphne?
Frasier: Of course he's flirting with her. He flirts with everyone. He can't help it, he's a sexual compulsive. But he's getting help for it in a support group.
[Daphne lets out an excited giggle]
Niles: Did he miss a meeting?!

Daphne: I'll be turning in, too.
Niles: Pleasant dreams.
Daphne: [chuckling] Well, no problem there.

Niles: Well, I guess I'd better be getting back to my Maris. If the clock strikes twelve and she hasn't felt my kiss upon her forehead she gets nervous. [puts on his coat] Sam, it's been a pleasure meeting you.
Sam: Yeah, you too. Hey, listen, if you want to really put a smile on Maris's face, let me tell you what you do. [whispers in Niles' ear]
Niles: Exactly where am I supposed to find whipped cream and a car battery at this hour?
Sam: You got neighbors, don't you?
[Niles checks his watch and leaves]

Sam: I tell you, man, she's one in a million, you know?
Frasier: You know, for most guys that's just an expression.

Frasier: Oh, my God!
Roz: Well, she was cute but she's not an, "Oh, my God."
Frasier: No, no, no. Not that "Oh, my God." Oh, my God, I slept with that woman three months ago.
Roz: You slept with her?
Frasier: Yes!
Niles: On what desert island with no hope of rescue was this?!

Sheila: Actually, I'm relieved, because I have something that I need to confess to you. You're not the only one who... slipped.
Frasier: You know, I think it's time you guys had a little privacy.
Sam: No, no. Frasier, you're responsible for getting us this far. Now, we have no secrets. All right. Who?
Sheila: Well, that's what makes it so tough. It was someone from Cheers.
Frasier: Uh, you know, I just remembered. I parked in a loading zone. I'd better-
Sheila: Sam, I slept with Paul.
Frasier: Paul? Short-
Sam: Bald-
Frasier: Fat-
Sam: Paul?