Sheila: There was someone else.
Frasier: What, are we still on this?! Jeez, I mean, there is honesty and there's beating a dead horse!
Sam: It doesn't matter. I don't care. It doesn't matter who it is.
Sheila: Yes, it does matter, Sam. I mean, this one is really embarrassing. I was lonely, I was desperate and I'd just been to the eye doctor and my pupils were dilated.
Frasier: Oh, Sheila, for God's sake! Look, I'll tell him. Look, what's she's trying to say is
Sheila: It was Cliff.
Sam: What?
Frasier: I believe she said "Cliff."
Sam: Cliff? Cliff ... you? You slept with Cliff? Cliff? Oh, no, that's it, wedding's off! Cliff. Oh, God!

Martin: Hey, Niles, why didn't you bring Maris tonight?
Niles: I'm supposed to ask Maris to spend an evening with a baseball player? Why don't I just ask her to rub my shoulders?

Martin: Oh, Sam Malone! Hey, I'm Marty Crane, I'm one of your biggest fans! Yeah, I was at theKingdome the night you gave up four consecutive home runs. I bet you remember that, don't you?
Sam: Well, actually, I don't. You see, that was during my drinking phase. Did I hit anybody? Did I hurt them?
Martin: No.
Sam: Oh, hey, well that was a good game.

Martin: Hey, Sam, this is my chair. You want to sit in it?
Sam: Oh... Yeah... Well, maybe later.
Martin: I'll keep it warm for you!

Daphne: Hello.
Frasier: Oh, Daphne. Daphne, this is Sam Malone. Sam, this is Daphne Moon, Dad's physical therapist
Daphne: Well, it's a pleasure to meet you.
Martin: Daphne's from England.
Sam: Yeah. Yeah, boy, I've always been a sucker for the English accent. No matter what you say, it always sounds so classy and sophisticated.
[Daphne laughs and speaks gibberish]
Sam: See what I mean? It kills me every time.

Frasier: [answering the phone] Hello? You'd like to speak to Sam? Um... Well, who's calling, please? Sheila?
[A nervous Sam holds up two fingers]
Frasier: Um. Yes, well, he's not here right now, but I'm expecting him soon.
Sam: No, number two!
Frasier: [into phone] Uh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I was mistaken. He was here, but, uh, he left. Well, yes, I'll give him
the message. Thank you. [hangs up] I'm sorry, Sam, I'm a little out of practice.

Niles: That's very similar to a game Frasier and I play. [to Frasier] I'll go first. 1962, Prague Philharmonic, viola
section, initials C.M.
Frasier: Czeslaw Milovicz.
Niles: Wrong, wrong, wrong! No, no, no. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Milovicz was first viola the year before, but by '62 he'd
developed Rrosin poisoning and was no longer able to pluck.
Frasier: Oh, damn! That's a trick question!

Roz: Same old story. Love triumphs over Roz.

Niles: Wait a minute. Three months ago? Didn't Sam say they'd been together for six months?
Roz: Well, it looks like this horse race is on again. [starts putting on makeup]

Sheila: Look. First of all, I know this doesn't excuse what I did, but I had no idea that you were a friend of Sam's. I'm a sexual compulsive. It's how Sam and I met in group. Look, that night I spent with you, I guess I just kind of fell off the wagon. What I did was terrible. I felt awful afterwards. It ended up being a kind of turning point for me. That's how it is with addiction; before you can get better you have to hit rock bottom.
Frasier: Yes. Well, I'm glad I could be down there for you.