Frasier: Excellent. Nice bite, smooth oaky blend.
Niles: Mmm. Lovely finish. I think this is definitely a contender. How about you, Dad?
Martin: Well, this one dislodged that piece of pot roast that's been bugging me since lunch.
Martin: I'm sorry, Niles, I'm just not the right guy to help you pick a wine for your proposal dinner.
Niles: Well, Dad, this is an important night for me, and- And I want you to play an important part.
Martin: I guess it is an honor to be included. Thanks. Well, time to cleanse my palate. I'm gonna get a beer.

Martin: I'll never forget the look on that minister's face when your mother waddled down the aisle of Saint "Barthalelamew". Did you hear what I said? I said "Bartholamar..."
Niles: Dad, there's a question I've been meaning to ask you...
Frasier: Niles, how can you change the subject after this bombshell? ... You knew?
Niles: Well, remember that time I had the chicken pox? Mom told me to cheer me up.

Niles: So, uh, listen, [clears throat], Dad. Daphne and I, of course, want to be alone on the big night.
Martin: [laughs and nudges him] Oh, yeah.
Niles: And I was wondering if perhaps you could take Daphne's mother out for the evening.
Martin: You want me to take out Daphne's mother? Is that what this has all been about?
Niles: No! More wine?

Gertrude: You know, Marty, I'm not surprised you asked me out.
Martin: Um, you're not?
Gertrude: Oh, don't be coy. A romantic boat ride to a remote island. I know when a man's trying to seduce me.
Martin: Uh, Mrs. Moon...
Gertrude: Oh, it was inevitable, really. I mean, here we are, two comfortable old shoes, looking for new mates.
Martin: Actually, I'm not that comfortable.
Gertrude: Oh, maybe you just need someone to break you in.

Martin: Uh, you know, I think there's been a bit of a misunderstanding here. I didn't mean this to be a "date" date, more of a friendship thing. You know, I really enjoy your company...
Gertrude: No, no. I should have known. What could you possibly want with a dried-up old prune like me?
Martin: You're not a dried-up old...
Gertrude: Please, I don't want your pity. I'll just stand at the bar and drink all night. Even though my doctor told me one more episode could cost me me liver.
Martin: Oh, now come on...
Gertrude: If you want to pretend not to know me, I'll understand completely.
Martin: Look, you've misunderstood what I said.
Gertrude: Oh, then you don't think I'm unattractive?
Martin: Unattractive? You said that, not me.

Niles: I can't believe it, I've worked so hard to make everything perfect for Daphne and now the moment is... almost... Do I smell burning crab?
Wolfgang: It's Cajun.

Niles: Are you all right?
Daphne: Don't touch me. I have the flu.
Niles: Oh, you poor dear. Here, here, here, come here. Sit right down here until we're ready to eat.
Daphne: I can't eat. I need me mouth to breathe. I hope you didn't go to too much trouble with dinner.

Niles: Dinner's off.
Wolfgang: What did you say?
Frasier: Look, Niles, even if the crab cakes are a total write-off, we can still salvage a meal.
Niles: No, no. Daphne's sick. Oh, oh, Wolfgang. Could you open up a can of plain chicken broth and heat it up for me?

Frasier: You're just canceling everything? The choir, the string quartet, the dry ice?
Niles: Yes, all of it. I want this proposal to be the greatest night of Daphne's life. What's the point of doing it if she's too sick to enjoy it?
Frasier: Yes, but we spent weeks pulling all of this together.
Niles: Well, we'll just get everybody back sometime when she's feeling better.
Wolfgang: Not everybody.

Niles: All right, all right, listen. I'll take Daphne into the guest room to lie down so you can get everyone out of here. Just be quiet, I don't want to spoil the surprise for next time.
Frasier: Rest assured, she won't suspect a thing.
Daphne: [o.s.] Niles? I think there's a bird loose in here.
Frasier: I thought doves might be a nice addition.