Daphne: Hello, all.
Niles: [rising] Hello. How was the movie?
Gertrude: Oh, not bad, considering my daughter's famous sense of direction made us forty-five minutes late. Then she got me popcorn without butter and kept shushing me, just because I can predict what people will say next in a movie.

Frasier: Excuse me, Mr. Puck?
Wolfgang: Yes, Dr. Crane?
Frasier: I- I couldn't help noticing, the crab cakes are getting just a bit... brown.
Wolfgang: They're getting beautifully crunchy.
Frasier: I see. Because when I said "brown" I actually meant more like "black", like "burned."
Wolfgang: They're Cajun.

Martin: How about this one? It's nice and sparkly.
Niles: That's an earring, Dad.
Martin: Huh? Oh, I guess I better put on my glasses.

Frasier: Niles, prepare to relinquish your breath.
Niles: Which one?
Frasier: That one right there.
Niles: Next to the gaudy one? ... The gaudy one?

Frasier: All right. All right. Which one do you like?
Niles: I was thinking of something more along the lines of that one, with the feathered band. What do you think?
Frasier: I think it's a good thing I'm here to talk you out of it.
Niles: I'm think I'm starting to regret bringing you along at all.
Frasier: I think it's a-
Jewelry Clerk: Gentlemen, gentlemen, I'm sure we can find something that will bring you both a lifetime of happiness.
Martin: Oh, no! They're not a couple! My son Niles is here to pick out an engagement ring for his girlfriend Daphne. And Frasier, who's been married twice, just came along to help him.

Frasier: Now, I have several candidates, Niles, but before you turn up your nose at this...
Niles: That's it, right there. That's Daphne's ring.
Frasier: The very one I was going to show you.
Niles: Stylish.
Frasier: Classic.
Niles: Stunning. Daphne.

Niles: Excuse me? I'd like to see that one, please.
Jewelry Clerk: Excellent choice, sir.
Frasier: Do you know her ring size?
Niles: Oh, even better, her ring finger is exactly the same size as mine.
Jewelry Clerk: Well, perhaps you should try this on, then.
Niles: Oh, it's... [He drops the ring. Frasier bends down to get it] Oh, I'm sorry. I'm a little nervous. I think it just hit me what this all means.
[Frasier groans]
Niles: What happened?
Frasier: Nothing. It's just my back. It's been acting up a bit in the last week.
Niles: Well, here, do you want me to give you a hand up?
Frasier: No, no. Here's the ring, I'll just stay down here for a moment. [hands over the ring] Does it fit? Oh, here, let me help. No, come on. Oh, Niles.
Niles: Frasier, it's perfect. You know, I always dreamed this would happen!
[Everyone in the stores starts to applaud]
Martin: No, wait. They're not a couple. Oh, jeez.

Roz: Oh my God, is that Daphne's proposal?
Niles: What? No, I don't- What are you-
Roz: Frasier told me.
Niles: That gossiping ninny.
Roz: Don't worry. He swore me to secrecy.
Niles: I swore him to secrecy.

Roz: So how's it coming?
Niles: I'm afraid I poured so much emotion into this speech I don't know if I can say it all without crying.
Roz: Oh, that's okay. Women like a man who isn't afraid to shed a few tears.
Niles: Last time I got all the way through it, I got dehydrated.

Roz: Okay, like here, I mean, now do you really have to compare her to three different roses?
Niles: Well, which one would you have me eliminate? The one that represents her beauty or her passion or... [breaking down again] her sense of humor?
Roz: Niles, you're just making this too complicated. I mean, all we really want is for a guy to get down on one knee and say, "I love you. Will you be my... wife?" [Roz breaks down. Niles hands her a handkerchief]