Rabbi Gendler: What was that gobbledygook?
Frasier: Well, it's-it's a blessing for my son, "Pookh Lod Wih Le Koo."
Rabbi Gendler: That means nothing. It's gibberish.
Frasier: What?
Jeremy: That's not gibberish. It's Klingon.
Rabbi Gendler: What?
Frasier: Oh, dear God!
Jeremy: Freddie's Dad just blessed him in Klingon.
Frasier: I'm terribly sorry. I... I... will you excuse me, please?

Jeremy: Hey that was awesome, Gaylord.
Frederick: Shut up, Berman.
Jeremy: Seriously, your dad's Klingon is really good.
Frederick: What did he say?
Jeremy: Well, roughly translated, it says, "My dearest son, each day you redeem me. May your journey be filled with the same joy, wisdom, and purpose you have given mine." It's a lot more beautiful in the original Klingon, but it's still really cool.

Noel: Hi, Dr. Crane.
Frasier: Hi, Noel.
Noel: Hi, Roz. You've never worn that sweater on a Tuesday before.
Roz: I've asked you to take your hands out of your pockets when you talk to me.

Lilith: Is this your guest list? Oh, I didn't realize you wanted to invite so many friends. I don't even know some of these people. And why are you inviting Jeremy Berman? I thought you told me he's the biggest nerd in your class.
Frederick: He's not so bad. Besides, the more people you invite, the more presents you get.
Lilith: Frederick, a Bar Mitzvah is a rite of passage, not an opportunity for you to collect presents.
Frederick: I'm sorry. You're right. I'll try to trim it down.

Kenny: Hey, Doc!
Frasier: Kenny.
Kenny: I can't tell you how touched I am that Freddie invited me to his Bar Mitzvah.
Frasier: He did?
Kenny: Yeah. What a great kid. That's your son, right?
Frasier: Yes. I wasn't aware that you two had met.
Kenny: We haven't. Eh, I guess he's probably heard his share of Kenny stories.
Frasier: [chuckling] Yeah. From whom?
Kenny: You sly kidder. Well, it sounds like a hoot, but if I don't find someone to drive with me to Boston and share a tent on the way, I probably won't be able to afford to go.
Frasier: Hmm.
Kenny: Fun drive, I bet.
Frasier: [nodding] Hmm.
Kenny: I guess I can just send him something.
Frasier: I think he'd like that. Thanks, Kenny.

Roz: Hey, Frasier.
Frasier: Hey, Roz.
Roz: Freddie's so sweet. He sent me an invitation to his Bar Mitzvah.
Frasier: Yes, apparently the people of Washington state have made quite an impression on him.

Roz: Can you believe Freddie is thirteen years old already?
Frasier: I can hardly think about it without choking up. This is my son, Roz. The little bald candy man that used to fit right here in the crook of my arm.
Roz: "Little bald candy man." That's adorable. I had a boyfriend who called hi...

Frasier: Noel, don't you have any friends that could do this for you?
Noel: Trust me, there are no friends in the world of Star Trek autography.

Noel: Now, be sure to keep it in this acid-free covering until the actual signing, and if you must handle it, use these cotton gloves.
Frasier: Okay.
Noel: You'll be the hit of the Bar Mitzvah, I promise. And don't be surprised if you get caught up in the fun of the convention, too.

Daphne: What is that?
Martin: My good old Scheerblad-7X-K.
Niles: The blindingest, noisiest, fifteen-pound camera ever produced in the former Soviet Union.