Simon: Thank you, Marty. It's most hospitable of you.
Martin: Well, you gotta have a place to stay...
Frasier: Stop right there. He cannot stay here. The man is loud, ill-mannered, and the last time he stayed here he killed a ficus tree on the downstairs neighbor's balcony by means which are best left to the imagination.

Niles: You know, I have to admit, I'm a little bit nervous about this trip. I have a feeling Mel may make another push for us to live together.
Frasier: Oh, my.
Niles: She's been bringing it up quite a bit lately. She says it's a good way for us to test our relationship.
Frasier: You're afraid you'll discover things about each other that you won't like?
Niles: Oh, no. No, no. We're past that stage. She knows my likes and dislikes. I've come attuned to her various quirks, eccentricities, bugaboos, bête noirs... night terrors. It's the fun of being in love.

Frasier: Is it possible that your foot-dragging might have anything to do with some lingering feelings for Daphne?
Niles: Frasier, you must realize I put that behind me months ago.
Frasier: Just asking.
Niles: I'm very happy with Mel.
Frasier: Well then, what's your problem?
Niles: Uh, well, let's see. I just got through with a rough divorce. I do have a tendency to be overly cautious...
Frasier: This could be a chance to change all that.
Niles: So you're in favor of it?
Frasier: Well, I've never really been the president of the Mel fan club, but she does seem to make you happy. And as we were reminded this morning, life is not to be taken in baby steps. Ask not for whom the doorman buzzes.

Daphne: [on the phone] You don't say, mum. Your phlebitis again?
[Daphne looks pleadingly at Frasier]
Frasier: [bellowing] Daphne!
Daphne: Got to go now, mum, Dr. Crane's on the warpath again. Bye. [hangs up, to Frasier:] Thank you.

Frasier: But don't worry, Niles called and said he'd be coming by this afternoon.
Daphne: I don't even know how I'm going to begin this conversation.
Frasier: Well, I'm sure those chocolate-chip blackened teeth will be a nice icebreaker.

Frasier: Sorry, Roz, I already invited somebody else. She's driving up on Saturday to join me.
Roz: Well, get rid of her. I need a date. I'm desperate.
Simon: Well, well, somebody here is singing my favorite song.
Roz: Simon? There's a guy who lives in the park across the street from me. He wears a cat suit and meows at people. If he's busy, maybe I'll call you.

Daphne: Oh, for God's sake, put me down!
Frasier: Not until you promise not to kill your brother.
[They enter the elevator where there's already a woman with her laundry basket]
Daphne: Oh, all right. It's not as if he doesn't deserve it. Telling everyone I'm carrying Donny's baby. Like I don't have enough to worry about today, waiting for Dr. Crane.
Frasier: Daphne, Daphne, you have to calm down.
Daphne: It's not easy. I don't even know how to begin with him. "Would you like steak or salmon at my wedding? And by the way, I think I might be in love with you."
Frasier: You'll find the words when the time comes, all right? [Glares at the neighbor] And don't pretend you're not listening, Mrs. Richman! Your laundry is not that interesting.

Roz: All right. But Simon, just remember my ex-boyfriend will be there. If anybody asks, you're an internet millionaire.
Simon: Right. I'll be the perfect, well-bred, up-market gentleman. Now, I'll walk you to the garage.
Roz: Ah, you don't have to.
Simon: No, it's no bother. I live there.

Niles: Roz.
Roz: Niles.
Niles: Simon.
Simon: Well, by the look of that smile on your face, I'd say somebody got himself a bit last night. [thrusts his hips in a lewd gesture]
Niles: I find that remark rude, boorish and impossible to deny! [laughing]
Simon: Brilliant.

Martin: Well, congratulations, son. That's great. So, uh, you're happy, right?
Niles: Oh, happy? I'm delirious.
Martin: Yeah, you'd have to be, wouldn't you?