Frasier: Well, I'm glad to see that you think it's funny.
Roz: No, I don't, I just... I'm having a flashback to my summer of Ted, Todd, and Tad.

Frasier: You okay?
Martin: I just broke it off with Bonnie.
Frasier: Oh, gee. I'm so sorry. What happened?
Martin: Lady humped Eddie.
Frasier: Excuse me?
Martin: You heard me. It was humiliating.
Frasier: But Eddie's a boy dog and Lady's a... well, a lady.
Martin: Yes, well, that would be the humiliating part, now wouldn't it? Right in his own park in front of all those other dogs. Yeah, Bonnie got a big kick out of it, too.

Kit: You have such a serious face. What, are we breaking up or something?
Niles: Well...
[Kit drops a tray of cups on the floor]
Kit: Oh, my God! You just dumped me? Right here where I work in front of everyone I wait on?
Niles: That's okay. We'll go outside.
Kit: Why? Give me an answer!
Niles: [appalled] Kit, Kit, calm down.
Kit: You're tired of me? Is that what it is?
Niles: It's all right-
Kit: You've had enough of me? I gave you everything and you used me. Sex, sex, sex! The way you come to bed every night wanting it, begging for it!
Niles: I never had to beg.
Kit: I'm just a whore to you, aren't I?
Niles: No, don't say that.
Kit: Yes, I am. Your whore. Your whore from the café!
[Kit storms out]
Niles: It's really more of a compatibility thing. I'm recently divorced and I've been under a lot of strain...
Frasier: Niles. Niles, they're strangers. It's all right.

Frasier: You know, this is a charming little place.I live right around the corner but I've never been in before.
Bartender: What'll it be?
Frasier: Martini, straight up, two olives. Henceforth known as "the usual".

Niles: Well, I plan to get stinking tonight. [to bartender] May I see your wine list?

Martin: Hey, guys.
Frasier: Dad. What are you doing here?
Martin: I saw Niles's car outside, so I thought I'd stop in for a drink. I can't go to McGinty's anymore with Bonnie there, and Eddie's taking a break from the park.
Frasier: Well, come join us here on Elba.

Niles: At least you take your time. I don't date, I leap. Headfirst. [to bartender] Thank you. More often than not I get my heart broken. By Maris. By Daphne, even if she didn't know it. At least Kit only broke my box spring.

Frasier: All I can conclude is that I must have some deeper issues with women that manifest themselves in my behavior. The trick is to pinpoint them.
Niles: Well, you know what I'm thinking? I'm thinking of taking some time off and going into deep analysis.
Frasier: That's not a bad idea, Niles. Steven Bachman is at the absolute pinnacle of psychodynamic research. Perhaps we should see him.
Niles: If we went in together we could get a rate.

Frasier: You know, it's funny how loneliness can make people behave in strange ways.
Roz: What do you mean?
Frasier: Oh, you know, do things that are sort of rash, and act out of character.
Roz: Oh God, I knew someone would find out about it. Who told you? Did he tell you? I'll kill him.
Frasier: Roz.
Roz: Oh, please, Frasier, don't tell anybody else. Oh, I beg you. It was one night, one lonely, stupid night.
Frasier: What are you talking about?
Roz: You don't know?
Frasier: No. What happened?
Roz: Nothing, I'll see you tomorrow.