Niles Quote #799

Quote from Niles in Roz's Krant and Gouldenstein Are Dead

Frasier: Just how the hell did this happen?
Niles: Well, I was desperate for a date, and I, I knew Maris would be lonely this time of year. It's cruise season, she never partakes. She has an absolute terror of buffets.
Frasier: Oh, yes. Legendary smorgaphobia.

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 ‘Roz's Krant and Gouldenstein Are Dead’ Quotes

Quote from Niles

Martin: So how did it go? Or should I say, how big a scene did she make?
Niles: Actually, she did quite well. She willingly joined in the ceremonial chanting. When the shaman invited those so inclined to embrace their favorite tree, Maris said the only tree she was willing to embrace was her family tree. Everyone laughed. Well, I laughed. Then it happened. They called for a group hug.
Frasier: Oh, dear.
Niles: Last time I saw her, she was racing towards her Mercedes, emitting a high-pitched shriek that caused the wedding doves to attack one another.

Quote from Niles

Frasier: Are there no other services you could have performed?
Roz: The only other option was visiting old people in a retirement home.
Frasier: And you chose this?
Niles: Well, think about it. Walking the streets, picking up trash, you can see how Roz would go with the familiar.

Quote from Niles

Frasier: Yes, well, Niles, there are all different sorts of women in the world. Perhaps if you tiptoed beyond the fringes of your precious circle, cast a wider net..
Niles: Frasier? That woman by the side of the road, spearing trash.
Frasier: Not that wide.
Niles: No, no, no, no. It's Roz!
Frasier: My God, it is.
Niles: If she realizes we've recognized her, she'll be utterly humiliated. Oh, Roz!