Frasier: Roz, why do you need a hotel room?
Roz: I was supposed to move into my new place today, but they're still painting it. I can't be around those fumes, and they've already rented my old apartment. [to the waitress] Grandé decaf Latte, please. [to Frasier] I am literally on the streets.
Frasier: You just ordered a four-dollar cup of coffee. "On the street" may be a tad dramatic.

Roz: Well, I've got to start calling around, see if I can find something.
Frasier: You know Roz, if you're stuck, my dad's going to San Francisco for the weekend. You can always stay with me.
Roz: Wow. That would sure make things easier. Okay.
Frasier: Well then, that's settled. That's that, then.
Roz: Oh, you were just being polite, you didn't really mean for me to take you up on it.
Frasier: No, no, no, no. I wouldn't have suggested it if it wasn't something I wanted to do. You should know that.
Roz: All right.
Waitress: Here you go. There's your check.
Roz: I'll get that.
Frasier: No, no, no, let me get that.
Roz: Okay, thanks.
Frasier: Well then, lucky me. I'm getting everything I want today.

Martin: Well it's about time!
Frasier: Calm down, Dad.
Martin: I was starting to get worried.
Frasier: We've got plenty of time.
Martin: My plane leaves at five o'clock.
Frasier: I just stopped off for your blood pressure medicine.
Martin: [worked up] I don't need it.
Frasier: [angry, too] Well, pack it anyway!

Martin: What's this? Earrings?
Frasier: Oh, just a little something I picked up for Daphne at the drug store. She ran some errands for me last week.
Martin: Nice. What are they, sapphires?
Frasier: Yes, Dad, I always buy precious stones at the same counter I pick up corn pads and Wart Be-Gone.

Daphne: Can you believe it was five years ago today that I came to work here? I just knew you wouldn't let an important occasion like this go by unnoticed, but I wasn't expecting a gift.
Frasier: Well, it's a small gift, a tiny gift.
Daphne: Oh my God, sapphires!
Frasier: Well, actually Daphne-
Daphne: Oh, Dr. Crane, these must have cost a fortune.
Frasier: Well, I-
Daphne: You know my friend Molly got a diamond bracelet from her boss but she worked for him for ten years and she was sleeping with him. And now I've got sapphires. And I didn't even have to sleep with you. Although now that I've got the sapphires- Oh, God, what am I saying? I'm giddy. Is it rude if I go and try these on? I don't care. I have to see what these look like. I've never had real jewelry, never! I'm speechless!
Frasier: Dear God, she believes they're genuine sapphires.
Martin: Gee, ya think?

Daphne: And you even remembered that sapphires are my birthstone. Is there no end to your thoughtfulness?
Frasier: Somebody has to keep track of these things.

Roz: Listen Frasier, thank you so much for this. I won't be an imposition, I promise. You won't even know I'm here.
Answering Machine: You have 13 messages.
Roz: I had my calls forwarded, I hope you don't mind.

Roz: Now I'm supposed to put up with in-laws and I don't even have a husband? That's like posing nude for your art teacher and still flunking the course. ... Shut up, I needed the credits.

[the phone rings]
Frasier: I'll bet that's Mrs. Garrett.
Roz: I'm not here.
Frasier: [on the phone] Hello. Yes, she is. Yes, she did get your message. No, no, I'm afraid she won't be able to meet you. Yes, I understand that you're upset. I'm terribly sorry, goodbye.
Roz: Thank you, Frasier. Thank you.
Frasier: That was Marco, now we're calling Mrs. Garrett.

Roz: All right, give it to me straight. How do I look?
Frasier: Like Pollyanna grew up and got herself into a little trouble.